HSBC, why do you have to make life so hard

I seriously need to complain because because, THIS HAS PLAGUED ME SO AND MADE MY LIFE SO ANNOYINGLY MISERABLE!!

RAWR!!

My unfortunate relationship with HSBC all began when I had to go to NY, being under 21, I couldn’t easily open my own bank account so I figured, I’ll open one in Singapore that I can use overseas! Between Citibank and HSBC, I chose HSBC for one very stupid reason. Amongst the banks lined up at Holland Village, HSBC was nearer to where I was.

So, my mom and I went, opened an account, the paper work was standard, all was good, until….the cards came.

We signed up as premiere members so we had these pretty red cards (I personally prefer my UOB debit card but what the heck) that are debit cards which doubles as an ATM card, standard stuff. Then we had to activate the card. See, the last time I activated a card was my UOB card and all that took was taking the pin to an ATM machine and key in the code! This time, HSBC decided that they needed to be more advanced, more secure and so they invented the soon to be condemned contraption known as phone banking.

I don’t know who thought that it was a good idea to make people key in long numbers on the telephone while listening  to the disgustingly long instructions repeated by a recorder, but it DOESN’T WORK. As my mom and I had a shared account, we have 2 cards to activate, so logic dictates that we activate her card first. Turns out logic was having a hang over that day cause it didn’t matter whose card we tried to activate, they just COULDN’T BE ACTIVATED.

It started like this, we dialed the number on the back of our cards, pressed the appropriate buttons, keyed in our birthdates, passwords etc. and activated phone banking. YAY! So it was all going smoothly, next step is to activate our card THROUGH phone banking, so we called again, pressed the buttons as instructed to activate your card, input our phonebanking password, our card number and at the final stage (after you key in your card number), instead of going “Congratulations your hard has been activated”, it instead said “please hold while you connect you to our customer service assistant” followed by beeping.

….

We were all terribly confused at that point. So the customer service guy just told us to TRY AGAIN. And the banker who was designated to service us told us to try again as well, this time with MY CARD! So we repeated the process and got connected to customer service again. Our designated banker was getting a little concerned at this point, I mean we can’t be such IMBECILES that we can’t even follow simple instructions like punching in buttons on a phone right? So after being connected to 2 different customer service agents, she decided SHE WILL DO IT! So she used the bank’s phone and began the process.

Once again, we were connected to customer service. So our banker spoke to the customer service guy, told him her name, her branch and the problem we were having and the customer service guy said that he will conference call with us WHILE we go through the card activation process. We tried again, he was cut off after our banker keyed in the card number and….WE WERE ONCE AGAIN PUT TO CUSTOMER SERVICE. My banker was going crazy, and this process repeated itself around 5 more times (it’s been almost 2 hours), her colleague comes in to tell her that her next appointment needs her and he will take over. So this new guy takes over and tries to call phone banking to activate our cards.

My mom was fed up, I was just dying from boredom so I figured, we can do this BOTH WAYS. He’ll try to activate my mom’s card with the office phone and I’ll do it with my hand phone. So we did. Another 4 more tries later, STILL NOTHING. Even this new guy is getting fed up. So asks the customer service guy to just ACTIVATE OUR CARDS with his administration powers.  The customer service guy says NO, you must be doing something wrong, he will (AGAIN), conference call and walk us through the steps.

And my mom snaps.

She grabs the phone, demands that he activate the card, and scolds the customer service guy for bad service. After 15 minutes, the customer service guy relented and activated our cards. That was 3 hours later.

The HSBC banker apologized profusely and complained himself that this phone banking shit was wonky and stupid, I won’t blame him, he had to listen to the SAME recorded voice over and over again for almost 1.5 hours pressing the SAME NUMBERS over and over again. So 3 hours and cards were finally activated. We stayed till the bank closed, and we went there RIGHT AFTER LUNCH (round 1pm).

And if HSBC hell ended here then all would have been well.

My doodle spoof of the phone banking card activation failure, that’s how bored I was.

So I came back to Singapore. And since in NY I was living off my HSBC card, my mom decided that I can continue to do so. And then my hell started.

The first thing I tried to do was to pay for stuff by NETS with this card, it’s an ATM card and a debit card, that’s JUST like my UOB debit card, which also can be used for NETS! So I assumed it could pay NETS, I was wrong. Fine nevermind, it works as a VISA card just fine. Or so I thought.

So I was signing up for classes online and had to pay for stuff, since my paypal was linked to my UOB card which had no money, I figured I could use the HSBC card instead and pay using VISA instead of paypal. I obviously figured wrong because IT DIDN’T WORK. I keyed in the number over and over and over and over again BUT IT JUST WON’T GO THROUGH. They keep telling me that my card number was wrong. Now I really don’t think I can type my card number wrong 5 times in a row, especially not after that phone banking escapade where I typed my card number so many times that I practically memorized it. I gave up and just used Amex instead.

I thought that it could be that my school’s choice of internet payment had a glitch, so the next time I tried to buy my 2NE1 concert tickets I used my HSBC card again. I nearly LOST my seats because I had to rebook it TWICE, only succeeding when I switched to my UOB card.

Right, so how did my UOB account have money in it? Because I transferred money from my HSBC account to UOB account. But the word ‘transfer’ is really just euphemism. At first I thought, it’s the 21st century, we can do this over internet banking, so I logged on and tried to transfer money, but then the lovely website had to inform me than transferring to another bank would involve transaction fees (that I was prepared to pay) and take THREE WORKING DAYS. Have you tried transferring money using DBS or UOB? It takes maximum of two days unless you did it over the weekend, but usually transfers are done within 24 hours.

So I got fed up and decided to get my ass out of the house, go to a HSBC ATM, withdraw the cash and deposit in my UOB account manually. So I googled for a HSBC ATM, according to the HSBC website, the NEAREST ATM was at outram park MRT station. But it wasn’t even an actual HSBC ATM, it was something called atm5 network whereby HSBC and a few other banks (citibank, maybank, ANZ etc.) decided to share their ATMs so that you can use your card at a partnering bank’s machine and withdraw money. So I walked out of my house, got my ass to outram park and used the atm. First try it said transaction denied, I thought my account had no money (which was impossible because on the internet it said IT HAD MONEY!), so I tried again, the poor citibank atm could only tell me that transaction not approved and that I can’t withdraw cash. I thought that maybe it’s cause the stupid machine was out of cash.

Then I took the train to Dhoby Gaut, and at Plaza Sing decided to try my luck with a Maybank ATM that ALSO had the ATM5 sign, with the HSBC logo on it as well. Once again the same problem happened. Now really, two machines? This has to be an official problem. Thankfully the WHOLE reason why I even took the train to Dhoby Gaut is cause I was aiming to get my ass to the HSBC ATM machine at Orchard MRT station. I went there withdrew my cash and the stupid machine won’t print my receipt even when I pressed the print advice button, TWICE.

The card briefly redeemed itself when my mom and I went to Taiwan and went to HSBC ATM there. Morale of the story, ALWAYS use a HSBC ATM when using a HSBC card.

But then it proved to annoy me again. I should have known from the internet payment thing that HSBC and the internet don’t play well together. First, the HSBC branch locator is seriously screwed up because it turns out that there was  HSBC ATM at the basement of Vivo City, which is walking distance from my house, tucked away in a small inconspicuous corner. Now my dear branch locator, WHY DID YOU SAY THAT THERE IS NO ATM IN THE HARBORFRONT AREA! You could have saved me so much grief. Second. I just logged onto my HSBC account today to check how much money I have and in the transaction history, it said “December 3 2012, Marche, $37”. It’s december 2 today, so I don’t know how the internet banking can state a trasncation history of the future. The BEST part is I went to Marche for lunch on THURSDAY (29th Nov). The money that I DID spend today at Chillis however didn’t even show up on the transaction history. Please tell me how am I supposed to trust this thing to check my bank balance AT ALL. It shows dates that hasn’t even happened and doesn’t show money that I have already spent, at least no in real time.

HSBC, why do you have to make my life so annoying?

Musings on napping

Please read the foreword to this before continuing reading. ^-^V 

I have this ranking about the awesomest things in life, it’s a constantly changing ranking but at the moment it looks like this:

1. Google
2. Naps
3. Music
4. Chocolate
5. Fluffy thingies!

Google, which is almost always number 1 (I swear the world will cease to function without Google) requires no explanation but take note of number 2 (which is very close to being number 1, mathematically speaking), Naps. Notice how I use the word naps and not sleep? Don’t get me wrong I LOVE to sleep, but only during napping hours.

Remember when we were kids and it was criminal for us to nap from our point of view because we were wasting precious day time where we could play? Well that obviously all changed as we grew up and found the joy of staying up (it’s like day time only LONGER!), and THAT mindset changed even more when we got even older and were forced to stay up because our days suddenly became incessant source of work and stress. So napping is basically an escape, a form of procrastination, a way of slacking and an all-rounded lazy man (woman)’s drug.

If my kid self saw me now she’d be giving me the O.O face as to how I find napping awesome (or maybe she wouldn’t because even as a kid I got to stay up..staying up meant having napped first.) Napping is like the most relaxing form of sleep, mainly because it’s during a time where sleep isn’t mandatory. Really this whole you MUST sleep at night for AT LEAST 6 hours thing is actually very stressful and makes sleep very stressful. You feel the pressure of being REQUIRED to go to sleep and worst, a COMPULSORY time to wake up. Sleep is supposed to be relaxing, it’s resting for god’s sake but NOOOO we have to force ourselves to sleep even if we are not sleepy and wake up before we are ready to. See how sleeping is a really flawed concept? And the natural rebellious nature of all humans call upon us to RESIST the stupid rule of “WE MUST SLEEP AT NIGHT”. We should sleep when we are tired and if that means it’s in the dead afternoon then so be it!

The following is why napping is superior to sleeping (at night). If you can nap, chances are you’re free, which means you can sleep for as long as you like or as short as you like, there’s no stress about when you have to wake up. Napping is during non-designated sleeping hours, which means you’re actually sleeping when you WANT to not when you HAVE to, that alone makes sleeping 1000 times less stressful and a million times more relaxing. Naps occur in the afternoon, what better way is there to fall asleep than to look at the beautiful clouds in the blue sky in and cozy air conditioned room under your covers, compared to at night where your neighbours are all at home, some getting drunk while watching soccer and yelling on the top of their lungs and the idiots in next door is blasting heavy metal? What makes naps such an awesome way to indulge though is no doubt the fact that WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING, EVERYONE IS WORKING!!! Yes, it’s sadistic, but more often than not our joy tends to be someone else’s misery, so what the heck eh?

So little kiddies, I don’t blame you for hating napping (and I would also like to ask which awesome parent allowed you to read this book which is most likely rated NC-16), kiddie naps are unfortunately forced to occur during designated napping hours, which makes it just as bad as adult’s designated sleeping hours. So yes, RUN FREE MY FRIENDS AND SPEND YOUR NAP TIME PLAYING TO YOUR HEART’S CONTENT! After all, we should start getting into the habit of actually sleeping at night starting from young.

Musings on Camu Camu Ume

Please read the foreword to this before continuing reading. No, you will not pass this point without clicking that blue link, CLICK IT. Good. 

I have many loves, food wise, but when it comes to candy I swear to god, my favourite has to be CAMU CAMU UME! Aka chewy plum candy. Mentos is good and all and so are jelly beans but honestly plum makes for the best candy flavor, it’s sweet and sour and slightly salty and it doesn’t make you feel sick after you’ve had too many. Before meals it’s a great appetizer, after meals it cleans your palette.

Sadly most plum candies are HARD, made with plum extract. NOT CAMU CAMU UME!! THEY ARE SPECIAL! Think chewy candy but with plum juice AND plum powder rolled into it, it’s perfectly reddish pink with dots of the plum powder so you know it’s the real deal. AND it’s made with locally (by that I mean Japan) plums. I can’t tell you how awesome it is except I’m currently trying to figure out how much Camu Camu Ume will constitute a year’s supply for me because, I WANT TO EAT IT EVERYDAY AND THEY DON’T SELL IT IN SINGAPORE!!!

Yes my dear readers, this wonderful godlike candy is not available in the island country I live in but in the island country that I DON’T live in. It’s like god hates me. Now we all know that Japan is like home to everything I love to eat but this is just so much worst. If it’s some kind of food, like Ramen or steak or a proper DISH, I can at least try to make it. But this, my dearest is a CANDY. As in artificially created, through the use of machinery and chemistry, all of which I lack, AKA, I can’t even TRY to reproduce it! See why this is so devastating now?

BUT I WILL NOT BE DEFEATED! I WILL GO TO THE NEAREST DAISO AND ASK THEM TO IMPORT THIS CANDY! Or I can just order them online for an insane 50 bucks per bottle including shipping (rip off much, it’s like 1 dollar a pack in japan, 1 FREAKING DOLLAR!). Actually these days, I’m starting to think that I should just move to Japan so I can eat this everyday. Yes everyone, you’ve just witness me admit that it’s not Disney, not the fluffy pancake waffles at Shibuya 109, not the milk tea but CAMU CAMU UME that is making me seriously consider moving to live in Japan. Sometimes I think I have strange priorities in life…BUT IT’S CAMU CAMU UME DAMMIT!

Musings in impressions

Please read the foreword to this before continuing reading. No, you will not pass this point without clicking that blue link, CLICK IT. Good. 

I don’t like mangoes. I mean I really really really hate mangoes, they’re one of the many fruits that I can’t stand and will not, absolutely refuse to eat. However mangoes never did anything to me, these innocent yellow pulpy fruits don’t cause me to develop rashes or poison me in any way, they have never traumatized me as a kid and they’re most likely good for my health, but somehow I JUST DON’T LIKE THEM. And it’s not the mangoes fault.

What the hell do mangoes have to do with impressions? Nothing really, though I can always add that mangoes never made a bad impression on me either, I DON’T LIKE THEM, END OF STORY. That’s how people are actually, there will be people, many of them at that, who just don’t like certain people or things for no good reason. You can try to persuade them, convince them but when someone just doesn’t like something or someone THEY JUST DON’T. It’s like how magnets of similar polarities just repel, and magnets of opposite polarities will attract each other, IT JUST IS AND YOU CAN’T CHANGE IT.

Which is why there is this age old advice saying “just be yourself” when it comes you leaving a good first impression, because ultimately, if someone doesn’t like who you are, they won’t like you no matter what you do or how you act. This sort of innate dislike won’t change because you change how you dress, how you talk and how you look. THEY DON’T LIKE YOU DEAL WITH IT. That being said, being yourself isn’t exactly very easy, especially when most people aren’t quite sure what ‘yourself’ is exactly. Seriously, trying to define yourself is quite impossible. Oh sure, you can quantify a few traits, some characteristics, but none of it will truly be all of what you are. The thing about being human is, we change, we are not constantly the same and we don’t change predictably either. It’s not like saying, heat up the ice cube it’ll become a liquid, heat it up some more and it’ll be a gas. We don’t work like that.

Instead of attempting to define yourself, or anyone for that matter, as any other object or noun, try to think of us as an idea, a theme, that is loosely defined by a word, aka our name, which encompasses all that we were, are and all the possibilities of what we can and will or will not become. Basically, humans are more like a concept which can be interpreted many ways, we are the summation of all of our potential of the past present and future. Which means you basically can’t DEFINE a person; it’s like trying to quantify truth, or god, or god forbid, LIFE.

Honestly, there are so many sides to a person that I sometimes think ‘be yourself’ is a very shitty piece of advice. Which ‘myself’ should I be? Because we are all multi-faced bitches in a way, though actually it’s not that we WANT to be two-faced, it’s just called adapting to the situation. Think of it this way, you don’t call toothbrushes two-faced bitches just because when you brush your teeth it’s a tooth brush but when you scrub the fridge or shoes or floors, it’s a cleaning brush. In school we are students, at work we are employees, there’s some essential concept of you that never truly changes but a large part of you is constantly being redefined to adapt to a situation. We of course could act the same way around many different people but you wouldn’t because it is inefficient, illogical and accomplishes nothing. You COULD act the same way you do with your friends in front of an adult or a superior, of course you can, but it’s illogical because by doing so you’d be disrespectful and get into trouble. Doesn’t mean you’re being fake, you’re just being pragmatic, what’s wrong with that? If you have it in you to be polite that means some part of you must have manners. It’s still you. Just because you suddenly learnt to ride a bike doesn’t mean your name will suddenly change and you’ll grow a tail.

Deep down we all know who we are, in a loose, vague, instinctive sort of way. We will know, innately, when we are not being ourselves or defying that core idea that makes us, us. And so, since we are who we are and we can’t stop people from hating who we are no matter what we are, why care about what other people think about you? The problem with so many of us is that we care far too much about what people think about us, about what impressions we are making on people. We are scared to be judged, and it’s a fair fear, but a stupid one.

Because really, what truly matters isn’t what people think about you but what you WANT people to think about you. It’s called ‘making an impression’ for a good reason, you’re the one who is creating that impression, so it is your job to make someone think of you in a certain way. Making impressions isn’t about being judged, it’s giving someone a judgment for them to declare. You are in control, not the other way round. What part of ‘you’ do you want to impress upon the person is within your control, the only thing the person can do is to accept whatever impression you wish to throw upon them, they have no control if you want to impress yourself as a monkey or as a CEO, all they can do is take it as it is and if they don’t like it they can leave it because THERE IS NOTHING THEY CAN DO TO CHANGE IT. And there is nothing you can do to change if they like you or not.

Of course it takes courage to shake off the concept of how we are being judged, which is why being yourself takes courage, not because ignoring what other people think or say requires bravery but because accepting the concept that YOU are in control is something that is beyond our comfort zones and a stressful responsibility. There is no one to blame but yourself if you made someone think bad of you because you made the wrong impression, but at least you know, you can always stay true to yourself no matter what because if they don’t like you, they don’t like you, and it isn’t your fault.

Musings on teenage angst

Please read the foreword to this before continuing reading. I shall have faith in humanity today and assume you’ve read it!

I look upon teenage angst with fond memories. Probably cause I wasn’t really very angsty…though technically I’m still a teen. We all suffer bouts of teenage angst, and whilst old people (aka psychologists and whatnot) have fancy explanations for them or regulate them as a ‘phase’ or some weird shit or another, I happen to think that teenage angst is just like angst at any age, a natural reaction to a messed up world.

You can call it ‘teenage angst’, but really angst is angst, age is irrelevant. And the reason anyone angsts is because life throws crap at you. In fact people below teenage years have angsty moments too, people just don’t bother labeling those moments. Why is teenage years such a prominent time to angst? Has anyone thought about perhaps it’s just that kids have finally grown up enough to see how shitty life can be and so they start emoing/despairing over it?

And in line with that thought, as…twisted as it may sound, to finally be mature enough to not just see, but also feel and understand how terrible the world is actually somewhat exhilarating. It’s like stepping into a whole new world and putting on grown up shoes. Putting on heels for the first time is an exciting experience, it’s also as painful as it is exciting and that’s exactly how teenage angst operates. It is a sign that we are officially growing up and becoming mature mentally. (Which explains why tweens can be angsty too, it’s all about the maturity of the mind). It takes a while for all that angst to become acceptance and appreciation hence the whole phase, but we never truly grow out of angst.

Bars and clubs, alcohol and cigarettes still have a mass market because people still angst, they just do it differently, instead of listening to Simple Plan and screaming at people for screwing up their life or cutting themselves for fun, we instead legally consume harmful substances. After all, I don’t think we will ever be able to take all the ridiculous neon rainbow colored crap that life seems to pull out of nowhere and throw at us without freaking out and stressing about it at some point or another. And lets all just admit it, we LIKE being angsty. It’s an INDULGENCE. It makes you feel safe, all that hate is a great protective mechanism. You don’t have to be responsible for anything when you angst, you don’t have to solve anything and you don’t have to do anything. It’s like of like being depressed except when you’re depressed you can’t hurt people or get back at people but when you angst you can rage hell, which makes it a slight level above emoing for me.

Misery loves company, if my life is going to be hell, then yours should too. (Ironically, when someone is depressed they don’t feel any better if another person’s life is crap too, see why angst is just so much more superior to emoness?)

Musings on Japan

Please read the foreword to this before continuing reading. Wriggling onto the actual post now…

God and I have a very good relationship. I don’t bother him, he doesn’t bother me. But I do have this one little problem with the omnipotent one. He doesn’t pay enough attention to his day job (it’s definitely his day job because if it’s his full-time job then all of mankind would have been destroyed a long time ago.) I say this because out of all the countries in the world, Japan is going to get destroyed by the next biggest natural disaster. (Check a research report done by University of Tokyo, M8 earthquake to hit Tokyo directly within next 4 years…whoopdeedoo).

Now why on earth shouldn’t Japan be put in such grave danger? For one, NO country ought to be put in such a predicament. Doesn’t matter what mistakes ONE leader may have made, no country deserve this, especially not one with the GREATEST AND AWESOMEST DISNEY RESORT IN THE WORLD. Which brings me to point number two, and probably the ONLY point I need; GOD IS GOING TO LET DISNEYLAND SINK AND DIE!? O.O I mean if you have EVER EVER EVER visited Tokyo Disneyland (AND DISNEYSEA.) You will know that it is the MOST magical place on earth, even more than the American ones, because it ACTUALLY feels like an out of this world experience and not a THEME PARK. Proof? 99.9% of kids there don’t cry, don’t run off and don’t throw tantrums. People there willingly get into the Disney world, everyone queues up and everyone is HAPPY. I bet you can’t say that for the Disneyland in other countries, and I am living proof because I’ve been to all those other Disneylands.

Seriously god, how on earth do you JUSTIFY destroying the one place on earth that teaches kids love, compassion, imagination, happiness and most importantly MANNERS. !!!????? Not to mention the one country on earth with the BEST convenient stores, BEST manners and customer service. And then we have all the cars, Sony and Nintendo and god knows what brands in Japan that’s a big deal to the world. I get it, we did Maldives in ourselves, can’t bitch about that but JAPAN!? EARTHQUAKES!! THAT IS NOT OUR DOING!!

So yes if I ever sincerely pray for anything, it’s the peaceful and continued survival of Japan. On the other hand since it’s always been the greatest cities in the world that’s been destroyed by massive natural disasters at least Japan can find peace in the fact that they’ve been recognized as one of the greatest cities (and cleanest, which means a lot because I live in SINAGPORE) of this time. On a gloomy bright side, seeing as Japan has managed to rise from the ashes of two freaking atomic bombs…maybe they’ll rise again, even higher after this quake…but the deaths…and DISNEY! I SWEAR, if they do not rebuild Disney after the disaster, I WILL PERSONALLY GO DOWN THERE AND BUILD IT MYSELF! So if my future professor is reading this, don’t be surprised if I took a gap year to run to Japan, I’m probably just helping rebuild only the most magical place on earth.

P.S: Oh omnipotent one, if you happened to be bored and read this book, please DON’T MAKE JAPAN GO POOF!

Musings on cowardice

Please read the foreword to this before continuing reading.YOU DIDN’T READ IT DID YOU! hmph! 

Very few things in life make me think “oh wow, I’ve really grown up.” I usually look back at my younger self and go “Man I’ve really become more immature.” Logically I know it’s probably cause I’ve become more mature and thus managed to realize my own immaturity, but yea the point is the more I grow up the less I feel like I’ve grown up… which might be a good thing. *shrugs*

Today in the car as I stared at the unmoving cars before me and wondered how long it would take for me to get my tired and sore ass (blame gym) home, my brain which has a brain of its own decided to stumble upon this epiphany. I’ve become more of a coward than when I was younger…man I’ve really grown up.

No it’s not about being afraid of heights and other exciting stuff though I suppose in an ironic way it sort of applies. As a kid I’ve had this conviction towards the truth. I always want to find out the truth, or just to ‘find out’, you know? Get to the bottom of things. I want to know how people really think about stuff, what are the secrets that people are keeping, that sort of thing. And I didn’t care if it hurts. In my point of view, it’s better to be hurt knowing the truth than to be happy and lied to. Now…I still maintain that view but I guess from a different angle.

Honestly this came about when I thought if someone wrote negative comments about this book (which there will be, and many…like loads). As an honest person I will tell you here and now that if I read them they will upset me, I will be hurt and it will bother me. I’m not one of those godly people who can brush off what other people say or think about me, if it seems like I do its merely because I’ve analyzed those comments to the last minute detail and have managed to come to terms with it or refute it. Anyways, back to the point. If it was the younger me, I would have braved those comments and criticisms and whatnot and be bothered and be hurt. My desire to know would have simply win out against my better judgment. But now, older (though not necessarily wiser), I realize I don’t mind not knowing anymore. I know those comments would bother me, sure I might learn something from it, gain something from it (which is usually what prompts my younger self to find out about stuff), but I’d rather not know and stay unruffled, if it does more bad than good to me then I’m fine with being a coward and hiding away from the big bad truth.

Perhaps as you get older, your identity becomes more defined and you no longer have the luxury of letting things smack you around and shape you up so to speak, you need to protect who you are, even if that means remaining blind or being in denial. There is simply too much to lose if you let every other person’s words get to you, losing yourself is simply not an option as you get older. Seeds of lies, perhaps even harmless ones, or merely ignorant ones, grow to become part of you and eventually there comes a point where you can’t undo them or you yourself will fall apart. Cowardice becomes an undesirable shield, to protect ourselves from both good and evil.

But you know something?

It takes guts to be a coward.

Musings on arguments

Please read the foreword to this before continuing reading.YOU DIDN’T READ IT DID YOU! hmph! 

There’s (most likely, I’m not sure, but it seems pretty real to me) been a long-standing argument about the pros and cons of arguments. Some people say it’s healthy and having one once in a while is good for relationships, others say that they are EVIL and break people up and should be avoided. I’ve been on both sides of the coin and honestly…I think arguments are really good. (Ha, I bet you thought I’d be impartial).

Yea, my best friend and I have never argued. EVER. You can say that we avoid arguments because I suppose there were many things we COULD have argued about but didn’t…cause there isn’t a point. Why argue when you know each other’s stand about things and have mutual respect for it? No point ruining a good friendship over something you already KNOW. And I probably never will argue with my best friend simply cause we have nothing to argue about, or at least no NEED to argue. I respect her and her ideals and she respects mine, we don’t see eye to eye but we already know that so it’s kind of logical to just leave our differences be and focus on our similarities. Yes, when you respect someone’s ideas and opinions means you DO NOT try to convince them or brainwash no matter how tempting it is. (Amazing feat for me I think…I DESERVE PATS!!!!)

But honestly, I don’t think that’s good for all relationships. Especially not romantic ones. The whole reason why my best friend and I don’t argue is cause we magically know each other so well (magically means instinctively we are ridiculously observant and or inobservant and as such we managed to figure out each other) that we don’t need to use arguments to find out where the other’s lines on things lie. But not everyone is like that or even if you are your partner might not. And only through arguing will you know that person’s ideals, where their integrities lie and stuff like that. Some people say that arguing is just two people yelling at each other and throwing dangerous sharp pointy objects at one another, but for me arguments are where two people figure out where their respective opinions clash, learn about each other and understand each other more, all whilst venting out their negative emotions in an debatably healthy manner. You’re probably most honest when you’re mad and that’s the only time you won’t package your words or feelings as such it’s the best time to learn about someone (once you’ve calmed down enough to review the contents of the argument). It’s also the time to learn when the other person won’t compromise. The best part is no matter whose fault it is, by partaking in an argument you are leveling the playing field because in arguments both parties get hurt! So it evens out the situation and once you’ve exhausted your energy from all the yelling and screaming and physical labor, you become a positron and become an extremely amiable, understanding and agreeable person who will apologize in which cause the other person to apologize and actually start RESOLVING the problem TOGETHER! And since we all know that shared bad experiences causes people to become closer (for some unknown reason, having seen a person at their worst or in a situation that makes the person as such, it makes you closer to them!!), after knowing that you can still stand and love the person after such hellish experiences actually makes a relationship STRONGER!

So girls, I don’t know what your moms have been teaching you about secretly letting the guy win or to take something sitting down but I’m telling you that if your relationship with a guy can’t even stand epic arguments then you guys shouldn’t be together anyways. Taking everything sitting down (this includes you guys too, I know you secretly think its oh so admirable to let girls win) will just cause grudge to accumulate and make it explode into an emo vortex with no solution. When you argue there’s probably a cause and hence a solution, but if you’re arguing over grudges, it’s an emotion and as such it can’t be resolved…so don’t let things become grudges…argue, fight, do whatever you need to sort out your differences short of killing each other and move on. Trust me it’ll better for you in the long run. And here’s a little secret. You know why you are sick of arguing and fighting? Because you’re having arguments and fights that have no solution because it’s all about grudge. Normal arguments don’t actually tire you out because it replenishes your positive meter at the apologize/make up stage. So there, I should have covered all the bases…

GO FORTH MY MINIONS AND FIGHT TO YOUR HEARTS CONTENT! YOU HAVE MY PERMISSION AND BLESSINGS! Just know that I am in no way liable for any consequences you might face. ^-^V

Musings on Success

Please read the foreword to this before continuing reading.YOU DIDN’T READ IT DID YOU! hmph! 

Asians believe in success through sacrifice, westerners believe in success through hard work. Is there a difference? Yes there is.
Who has gotten it right though? Seeing as Forbes has named almost the entire world’s richest to be westerners, I’d say that we Asians have some serious reflecting to do. Like, majorly.

Here is your typical Asian successful businessman, he hoards his money, spends all his time flying around attending business meetings after business meetings, golf games after golf games, he’s home for 24 hours a month, spends negligible amount of time with his family, who chances are works in his huge enterprise and calls their father by his job appellation rather than ‘dad’. He’s probably bold by 35, 40 if he’s lucky, with grey hairs before he’s even 50 and justifies himself by leaving his family with a fortune and mansions with maintenance fees to match, if he feels gracious that is. Or he just might want to die a philanthropist and redeem himself socially, you never know.

Here is your typical western successful businessman, he spends as much as some country’s people’s tax money combined, but he earns just as much if not more. He flies around on a daily basis and brings his family with him. On the rare occasion he splurges on expensive holidays for his families, he’s actually home during major holidays and if possible cancels meetings to attend that all important little league soccer game. He’s probably got a good beer belly going on, balding because western men just bald easily and whilst the rest of his countrymen figure out how to pay for their kids’ college, he’s either lined up his business to be inherited by his son so he can retire by 70 or dumped a sum on his kid so they can start their own business and leave his bank account alone. And oh yes, he’s publicity advisor probably started some philanthropic endeavor along the way, he probably signs the papers without looking anyways.

Am I being completely and entirely biased+stereotypical? Yes I am, how else can I prove my point? Sure these examples are exaggerated, but I mean lets compare Donald Trump to any of Asia’s richest. And you see how I don’t know the same of said rich Asians not because they aren’t as rich but because they’re so low profile and not seen or heard! We know Donald Trump, Kimora Lee Simmons etc. cause they do reality TV, I’m not saying rich people have to (because we all know Bill Gates don’t), but face it successful western people actually HAVE a life in some way and as such we are able to see/watch/read about them from some media. KEY WORD: HAVE A LIFE. I mean, look at the facebook dude, he’s got a movie made after him and we all know you can’t make a movie out of someone who has no life unless one is being forced upon him/her. The only movies of ‘successful Asians’ we have are of politicians and honestly it’s not so much the guy than the politics that makes the movie.

Since we’re on the topic of successful people and media lets do a quick comparison shall we? The content of media involving successful western people is either reality TV or a biography of their life. It talks about their family, their work, their relationships, their vacations…their daily LIFE. Even when it’s a movie about their success it talks about how the family supported them, how everyone struggled together as a family to achieve the goal, how the ‘protagonist’ lost himself through work and found it again with help from friends and family and usually ends up with him/her HAPPY and FULFILLED or at least on a emotional/spiritual level at peace. What do we see from movies about successful Asian people? How ‘admirable’ they are sacrificing this and that to achieve success, sacrificing their family, their relationships, their time, their health; oh yes, that is SUCH a RESPECTFUL model for success. -_-lll I don’t see why anyone would think they’re great. They gave up a lot to get to where they are…I mean…HOW IS THAT ADMIRABLE!? O.O Because willingly giving up things and people around you and in your life for something as superficial as monetary success or hell even SUCCESS and FAME or ACHIEVEMNT won’t make you or anyone else around you happy. No one is thanking you for giving up so much, so one is ASKING you to, you’re doing it yourself, feeling bad for yourself and being miserably successful…how is that good?

The whole point of being successful is because it makes you satisfied/content/happy etc. you know like POSITIVE! So why would you want to be successful if you’re not happy? You can’t enjoy success if you’re sad. At least if you’re a poor asshole at least you have a GOOD reason to be sad and you can at LEAST bitch about unfairness in life and all that shit. If you’re successful and miserable, you’re either a bloody ungrateful BRAT or you’re a self-serving bastard who deserves it cause you had a choice to not go the ‘holy self-sacrificing’ way. You want to know why success is hard work? Because balance family, work and fun together is HARD. Dumping everything and just pouring your life into work….it’s tough but it aint hard, how hard can something get if that’s the only damn thing you need to do? So yes, I have no fucking idea why all these rich “SUCESSFUL” Asians are oh so proud. What the hell do you have to be proud of? That you exchanged everything in life for your commercial success? Well I feel sorry for you that you think happiness and life is only worth that much. Last I checked, happiness is priceless. (Family…not so much, we all know you can adopt kids at a good price =P, and yes I’m just being technical.)

As such if you are a reader of this book, HEED MY LECTURE (aren’t you glad I’m being honest about the fact that I am lecturing you? ^_^) THE DEFINITION OF SUCCESS IS ACHIEVEMNT IN YOUR CAREER AND IN YOUR PERSONAL LIFE. You are only successful if you are happy. So you can say that if you are happy you are successful. Seriously, you have NO IDEA how hard it is to be genuinely happy for a undetermined period of time in this century. So guy it’s like I always and will always say: BE HAPPY. <-IMPORTANT

P.S.: Do I need to tell you guys again to use this in conjunction with sustainable happiness? I should right? You don’t know what that is? GO READ THE RELEVANT MUSING! And no I won’t tell you what page it’s on because you’re a lazy ass who can’t be bothered to read the book thoroughly. *sticks tongue out*

Musings on physical bodies

Please read the foreword to this before continuing reading.YOU DIDN’T READ IT DID YOU! hmph! 

You know why we have bodies to house our minds?

Our bodies are IMPORTANT as they are well..unimportant?

Ok I know I’m being shit ass confusing as usual. Basically here’s the deal, short of being sick, it’s usually our minds that torture us. We scare ourselves, we stress ourselves, most things that make us uncomfortable are more likely to be emotional or psychological than physical. And so I realized after skipping gym for nearly a month, OUR PHYSICAL BODIES ARE IMPORTANT AS THEY ARE OUR ONLY FORM OF STRESS RELIEF.

Face it; the best way to relieve stress of any sort is to exert yourself physically. I find myself a much more amiable and agreeable person when I gymmed 3 times a week. My reason? Trust me, after 1 hour of lifting weights your muscles aren’t supposed to be able to hold up, you will have no bloody energy left in you to be angry, annoyed or pissed off. And if you do, it’ll definitely be targeted at the nearest weights/machines or your coach, or all of them. You’d be too caught up in trying your best to not crawl back to the changing room to even feel bothered by any other stupid shit. SERIOUS!
Think about it. When you’re pissed we get violent, you either yell or punch or do something PHYSICALLY destructive. You don’t try to THINK something to death when you’re angry do you? Well you do and you end up getting angrier until you finally lose it and find something to take your frustrations out on, physically. See what I mean? And even people who drink to get over their problems, or those who do drugs (I’m promoting neither, just so you know), it’s also a form of PHSYICAL PUNISHMENT to oneself to relief our MENTAL stress.

So by being..unimportant as in thoroughly abusable (you realize that all our stress relieving methods are actually self-abuse? Punching walls, hitting stuff, physical exertion, crying, drinking, drugs etc.) our bodies exist to make sure we stay sane.
Wow, I can’t believe I just rationalized why we have bodies. But it makes sense nyaa?

On a completely random note: “Our present selves are actually the past selves of our future selves, so essentially our past selves are our present selves and our present selves are our future selves, and since our future selves all ultimately inevitably die, doesn’t that mean we should actually be nicer to our past selves? Yet our present selves torture our past selves and live for our future selves; don’t we realize that when we die, all we take with us are our past memories, and because of the way we live, they’re all going to be shit…sometimes, I think we were born to be stupid.”