You chose to abuse me.
I chose to understand that it came from an insecurity and that if I showed you enough love, you will finally feel safe and stop being abusive.
Then I realized that it’ll never be enough.
And that’s not my problem.
You chose to never trust, never feel safe, never put ytourself at risk. You chose to never care, never feel, never be accountable, never repent, never love.
You chose abuse.
So I chose to not be abused.
Love has nothing to do with this equation.
Letting someone abuse you is NOT an act of love.
I don’t need to allow myself to be abused to prove my love.
Choosing not to hate someone for abusing you is not an act of acceptance or forgiveness.
Understanding abuse is not permission to let someone abuse you.
I don’t know if I love you.
I don’t doubt the ‘love’ bit.
You don’t need to know someone to understand their pain and wish them well.
I just wonder about the ‘you’ bit.
Who are you?
Have I been loving an illusion all along?
Have I been in a relationship that never existed?
In the end, none of these mater.
I choose to remove myself from the presence of someone who disrespects me, hurts me, insults me, manipulates me, leads me on and gaslights me.
I choose to not be abused.
And that’s all that matters.