I miss being part of the all the key memorable moments in your life. I feel like there is no place for me in your life. I know you share all your happy moments with me, but i feel like nothing but a spectator or a cheerleader in your life. And i know that i should be actively making effort to include you in things. And it’s a sign of insecurity that the more i feel left out, the more i want to exlcude you from my life to save myself from disappointment and sadness. I dont want to you to taint my hard earned happiness and that’s sad. I should want to share my happiness with you but i just feel so detached and disconnected from you that i dont want to.
It’s not your fault. Maybe I’m just not cur out for relationships, im not meant to find happiness in them. I’ll only ruin them and the happiness of those around me.
And that’s my little emo peptalk for today.