Last time


Incompatibility is nobody’s fault.

Not yours, not mine.

There’ll be someone out there for you. You might even have found them.

I’ll try, one last time.

Clean slate.

One last leap of faith, one last jump.

One last time I’ll trust you.

It’s not that I don’t want to give you more than one chance.

I don’t have it in me to give you more than that.

I’ve been hurt so deeply, one more time and I’ll probably fall completely out of love with you.

As it stands…I know you love me.

I just can’t find any more reason beyond love to justify letting myself be hurt so much.

I know you love me the best you can, it’s just sad that you can’t love me the way I need to be loved…but I can love you the way you need to be loved.

But if I walk away, I walk away knowing you’re in great hands, knowing that we’ve had great memories and we’ve both grown a lot.

I walk away knowing that we can be great friends and even great family.

We just..may not be the best romantic partners.

Or maybe just not the best emotional partners.

Perhaps our break up would be that of transitioning out of partners in life.

Partners in life get each other, support each other.

We merely love each other, that might not be enough.

I know you think I’m amazing but I am probably more than you can handle, in both good and bad.

We might be happier just being casual partners, people who meet for coffee and tea, occasional movies…talk about work and have great chats. That…close friend you know you can’t date.

Love…I will always love you.

But maybe there’s a better MOR, more suitable for us.

Maybe that’s the answer.

But I’ll try one last time, to close the gap, close y eyes and just trust you.

And to really try, I won’t doubt you anymore, I’ll trust you and open myself up to you. I’ll reset my counter. I’ll try to treat your emotions the way you want them treated, and I hope you treat mine the same way.

I’ll try my hardest and my bestest, and if that still breaks my heart into a million pieces.

I’m sorry, it’s not because I don’t love you, I don’t have a heart to give or love anymore.

And you deserve to find someone whom you can make happy, who doesn’t make you feel like crap.

I’ve guarded and looked over you until the right person has come along, and I am happy for you.

Wistful but happy, that we’ve come to this point.

I’ll always love you, perhaps more than anyone else in the world.

But love, love is knowing when to let go, letting the one you love find happiness and become what they need to be.

I promised to never tie you down, never tie you to me and I never will.

One day I’ll fade into the background, behind all the happy memories you’ve had with someone else, and I’ll be glad I was part of your life.

I’ll try again, one last time.

Try my absolute best, give it my all.

To give you trust, and faith and freedom.

To be my most authentic self. To be the truest me with you.

To give you all the love I can give.

To take all the love I should take.

And if it’s still too much…it hurts, but, lets…transition into something better for us.

I don’t want my final memories of you to be bad, or of pain and suffering and hatred.

I want to leave you remembering your beautiful smile, heart of gold and burning passion, the same man I fell in love with.

For him, I’ll try again.

Just one more time.

Advertisements
Last time

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s