Is not having insecurities and needing assurances strength?
Is that why men are so strong?
Their lack of needs? Ability to not need emotional support?
Then why the fuck is there a whole movement “oh men have needs too” and how hard they have it.
It’s not that men are strong because they have no needs or have learnt to live without having them fulfilled.
If so then all men should remain single, why get attached? Why look for love?
I’m not the one in chronic relationships here.
It’s insulting to be seen as weak for wanting to understand and confront roots of problems and darkness. To want to know.
It’s fine if you don’t, but it’s nothing proud to be lauded over.
Men, you don’t need to hear reassurances because it’s built into the fucking system for you.
You get praised for good job at work, people recognize your effort. There’s an entire fucking system out there that acknowledges your hard work and wants you to be successful.
There’s a whole culture built around giving men success and appreciation.
Where is the culture to give that back to people of other genders?
But I digress.
What is strength?
Strength isn’t how successful you are in life. How much you can lift. It’s not not being plagued by doubts or having worries.
It’s accepting them, moving forward despite them, overcoming them , acknowledging them.
The difference between me and you is that I’m actually a healthy person that deals.
I need to be more firm with myself and my way of life.
Look Chocomon, you ARE doing well. Your way of life fits you fine. You’re doing things to make yourself happy and others happy. You’re always learning and growing and sharing.
You don’t do it for recognition or affirmation (though it’s nice ) (fucking hell, who brings up that they got good mentions at work? Everyone likes being appreciated. It’s not a NEED but if you like it why can’t I like it?)
What’s wrong with asking someone to clarify if their negative statement of you is true or not? Like you’re supposed to know.
You are strong in your own way, growing in your own way.
If you own dependence is making you feel uncomfortable and unhappy, then STOP. Stop depending. Locking yourself to yourself isn’t true strength, recognizing you need help and reaching out is. But if you reach out and get slapped for it then yes its okay to stop
If you miss being that independent Traveller then stop being considerate. Just..go. you can’t make others happy. So just be you and make yourself happy.
That’s why he’s asking you to go…
But this isn’t about him.
…sigh I don’t know.
But we need to get shit done.
I’m done with having needs.
What are healthy ways of satisfying my needs?
What ARE my needs?
- Need to rant when upset
- Need to confront my fears and find positive outlooks
- Need to make others happy
- Need for freedom
- Need for fish slap
So okay rants and fish slap I have friends.
Freedom for expectation…well..technically we have a free pass to just…go and do.
Need to confront is always being done.
Need to make people happy..is what I’m doing now.
So I’m really fulfilling all my needs and doing what I need to do.
So what’s bringing me down?
Doubts and insecurities thanks to a certain someone. If you don’t wanna help don’t make it worse .
But blame doesn’t help.
He can’t understand so just accept how he’s tried to help and I mean..Don’t reach out.
This is someone you share happy stuff with. And go to if you need help and solutions. Not support. Nods.
You really loved…albeit not the way you want.
But those are wants and not needs and we are okay without wants.
…I’m in a relationship to satisfy wants.
Sigh let’s hope email works.