Nah the world doesn’t need saving.
I have 15 minutes to eat breakfast and be my own shrink.
So what’s bothering me.
- General detachment from my pack. As in not I’m purposely detaching myself, my pack is detached from me. Annie is off..recovering. Can’t fault her on it. She is the die. Mom is..I have no idea. She’s dying too because she’s so crazy busy, but like, wow, it’s not even like I’m not home. I AM home but she’s never home and even when we have family day she’s on her phone half the time. And she won’t go see a doctor for her foot, I can’t even find time to sit her down to catch up or drag her to see doctors of any sort. Well I have Pebbi, Pebbi’s busy too. Busy=low points. And I’m busy too. I’m just clingy.
- I HATE being clingy. I’M NOT A CLING. I don’t need that much time, but I just don’t like feeling detached from people, like not knowing what goes on in their life. That and once again we’re at the ‘I could really use some support in my life right now but hey what the fuck everyone’s out of the count again’. SUCK IT UP AND DEAL WITH IT. YOU DON’T NEED PEOPLE.
- And then I feel like a horrible person because I can’t be there for others because I’m in a shitty state.
WHY AM I ALWAYS IN A SHITTY STATE.
Like why can’t I just be okay, be good.
Because being not okay is the privilege of people who have others who are there for them.
And we all know I can’t depend on people who have their own shit to deal with because I’ll feel like the worst person in the world.
Next order of matters.
Okay really. I really really really really REALLY hate it when I send long messages and it doesn’t get a response or acknowledged.
It’s like, wow, I know I may be excessive, but please, AT LEAST FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGE IT.
My emotions feel ignored
Maybe you’ve read it and acknowledged it. I DON’T KNOW.
I NEED SIGNS AND RESPSONSE!
To sum it up:
- I’m stressed
- I’m worried
- I need support
- I’m angry
Wonderful way to start the day.
And see this is why, I’m a stronger and better person when I’m alone. I should just…be alone for a bit. *SIGH*
NO NO MUST BE POSITIVE. SUNNY DAY! NO RAIN!
Okay I need food.
You know, I need sugar when I’m upset and when I work loads but sugar fucks with my stomach.
So I saw again.
YOU CAN’T WIN.
I swear I’m a positive person.