I think I’m blessed, to have seen, or at least glimpsed, the worst of what human depravity can offer.
But I’ve also seen the best that humanity can offer.
Then there’s just what general humanity is and isn’t offering.
But I digress.
I’ve learnt some hard lessons, like how some men are scum. Yes there are fathers in this world who wants their kids aborted, there are fathers in this world who will kick their own child out after a new marriage, fathers who will take money from their child and family, fathers who will sue their pwn fathers…. There are abusive parents and spouses, men and women both, gay or straight. Convoluted mothers, cheating husbands, backstabbing friends.
What I’ve learnt is that these people aren’t ‘evil’. Some are, at their core they aren’t good people, but in general they aren’t devil incarnate. They’re not the epitome of evil. They’re just…weaker, more prone to human weaknesses. Emotional weakness brings out the worst in us.
That’s the source of human depravity, or at least that’s how I see it.
But I’ve also seen the good, some of the best.
Unconditional love of a mother, finding true love at old age, non-judgmental friendships, forgiveness and acceptance of your close ones, small acts of kindness on the street, words of encouragement from a complete stranger, people being nice just because they can. I have met saints, romantics and ex-cynics.
Then there’s all the things in between, compromised decisions that are neither the best nor the worst, that doesn’t really do any damage or leave any impact in the long-run.
Actually the word ‘seen’ is kind of incorrect.
I’ve experienced, either first or second hand how fucked up and depraved humans can get.
I’ve also experienced how wonderful and good (for the lack of a better word) humans can be. How much we can overcome our weakness, our darkness and our selfishness.
Perhaps because I saw more of the bad first.
It made seeing the good something to appreciate, to find hope in.
I know it’s always easy to come to terms with the bad, on many days I find myself rolling around in anguish at the unjust, the unfairness that is part of life.
Sometimes though, I manage to rise above all that, rise above good and bad and only see life and death.
Living in the moment is important, living in the now, in the world we are in RIGHT NOW is important.
But spirituality reminds you that there will be something, even if that something is ‘nothing’ beyond now, beyond this world.
Experiencing all that, in its entirety means seeing the good, the bad and the meh. Or maybe, the bad, the good and the meh.
I can sort of understand now why monks and other spiritual practitioners are so detached from the material world, the human world.
When what sustains your soul, your being (by sustain I don’t mean physically sustain of course) comes not from the things around you but your mind and what’s connected to it..all our concerns do seem ridiculously small.
I’m straying again though.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, appreciate the good, work on reducing the bad and accept the meh; and if you find it in you, do more good.
It’s so easy to be cynical, but we are stronger than that.
We are, and because I’ve seen it, I can believe. I will do it.