So if it wasn’t obvious enough, although I’m an awesome wise cactus, being me is high in mental stress.
I woke up to the lovely sounds of my sick mother getting ready for a meeting, at 12, after going to bed at 7am after following her to the doctor’s.
The cause of the panic attack is simple.
1. Mom is sick. Mom is not resting.
2. I need to get more rest so I can do my work, but stressing over 1, therefore can’t sleep.
Of course thrown in are the day to day background stress such as, *scrolls through Facebook and see many awesome posts on talks, articles and events* ‘….I’m not doing anything productive or contributing (okay so I do see my moon aquarius ‘deepest fear is not being a contributing member of society thing’ now) to the world. All the incoming deadlines from school work. All the OTHER unfinished work in the world that I have to do. (Yes proposal, I’ll get to you, and yes, I’ll translate your script for the speech mom, and I know I need to mail EJ books, and get started on that nom nom list, and make my cosplay props, and book flight and housing for Melb trip..and the list goes on)
In all honesty I’m just frazzled.
I also sincerely wish my mom isn’t such a giant emoball when she’s sick.
I know when you’re sick you feel like shit, but like…she acts like she’s perpetually pissed at the world, and because of how she is, she makes a simple flu seem much worse…AND SHE WON’T REST. And..I don’t know, I don’t understand anymore, I give up.
She just finds ways to make me feel guilty that I have a life. *sigh* And she’s not doing it on purpose.
I DON’T UNDERSTAND.
I know I need to, but my brain is out of MP.
Okay, seeing as I feel marginally better, I’ll go get some work done and hopefully that’ll appeased my frazzled self.