Shame on you


Before I start, I’ll just like to say two things.

First, when I say “you”, I don’t necessarily mean “you” as in you who is reading my post now.

Second, I’m aware that this phenomena I’m complaining about isn’t just in Singapore, but I feel that it’s most prominent here than anywhere else, or rather, there are no positive forces combating this negative force.

So let us begin.

—————————————————————————–

You know what’s the hardest thing about living in Singapore?

You get shamed, for EVERYTHING.

You’re shamed for being fat, you’re shamed for being skinny.

You’re shamed for being gay, you’re shamed for being rich.

You’re shamed for dropping out, you’re shamed for going to a top school.

You’re shamed for being raped, you’re shamed for being a feminist.

You’re shamed for every fucking thing under the sun.

I’m not saying all us are guilty of shaming people, in fact I’m sure most of us are the victims.

But the thing is, when enough people start doing it, it becomes are culture.

And let me tell you, there are definitely enough people doing it.

Apparently we’ve moved on from “complaining” to “shaming”.

Such progress.

This is alarming and scary.

In fact I’ll even go as far as to say that honestly, THIS is the reason why we are never happy.

Because we are never good enough!

And if I say that this entire issue of shaming has nothing to do with the government, I’ll be shamed for being a pro-government person.

Well, it’s not, shame me all you want, I don’t care.

This is a PROBLEM.

In many cultures, slut-shaming, fat-shaming, -skinny shaming is prevalent, as such there are just as many people acting against such horrible actions.

In Singapore, shaming people is encouraged.

I’ll start from the top down, age wise.

Old people are shamed.

They’re shamed for being useless, being grumpy…basically, for being OLD.

Go to any Singaporean forums, we’re always bitching about bitchy old aunties and uncles, and somehow those few impolite cranky old wankers become the blanket representation of the elderly in our country.

I have never seen an elderly in Singapore who is proud to be a senior citizen.

Moving down the food chain, the working class.

So much shaming, I don’t even know where to start.

If you do well in life, if you own a car, if you live in a condo, you are shamed.

You are shamed for all the hard work you did to earn everything you have.

And if you DON’T have a car, DON’T live in a condo, no worries, plenty of people out there who is shaming you too.

It’s so embarrassing, to be over 30 and still living with parents with no car.

Oh but rich people with cars and houses are snobs and are all money-sucking assholes.

Female PRCs are shamed for simply being female and hailing from China; no, not all of them are shameless immoral maneaters, but we shame them, because we can.

So we don’t shame the poor in Singapore, because here, the poor are forever the victims.

Actually we do shame the poor, consistently and constantly, but only if they’re not Singaporean.

Bangladeshi workers, Indian workers, Philippino maids, Chinese workers, all of these people, SHAMED.

Speaking of foreigners, simply being an expat of any sort earns you shaming.

You’re required to separate yourself from ‘those expats’ and always apologize for being not-Singaporean.

If you’re unmarried you’re shamed, if you’re married but live with your parents you’re shamed.

If you’re unmarried, you’re shamed, if you don’t want to get married, you’re shamed.

But let us move down the food chain even more shall we.

Students, youths, children.

If they go to an elite school they’re shamed, if they go to a neighbourhood school they’re shamed.

If they go to poly they’re shamed, if they go abroad to study they’re shamed.

If they want to become a singer they’re shamed, if they want to become a government official they’re shamed.

If they are smart they are shamed, if they speak their mind they are shamed.

Apparently Singaporeans are never good enough for each other.

Companies don’t employ enough Singaporeans?

Well no duh, large businesses get shamed, HR officers get shamed, SME managers get shamed, SME owners get shamed…

Why would anyone want to hire a person who just makes them feel like shit?

We shame Singaporean women who like foreign men, we shame foreign man for simply being attractive to Singaporean women, we shame Singaporean men who like other Asian women over Singaporean women…

Our policemen get shamed, our NS men get shamed…

ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.

Can we please stop shaming and start acknowledging?

Why is being a hawker something to be ashamed of?

These hawker feed people, lots of people, at cheap prices.

That’s a service that should be acknowledged, hawkers to be proud of what they do.

Taxi drivers, bus drivers, post man, police, military officers, cleaners, waiters….all these blue collared workers should be acknowledged for what they do instead of being shamed because of their profession and income.

White collar workers should be acknowledged too, who keeps our banks running? Who provides all these businesses, cafes, companies that run so many things in our city?

Does it matter if this banker is gay if he is a morally upright, helpful and honest person?

Why can’t we acknowledge him for his strengths?

Rich people, yes they are rich, be jealous, but acknowledge them fro all the hard work they put in to get to where they are today.

No one is rich by luck, even those born into rich families have to struggle to maintain their wealth, hell being rich means there are so many more expectations to live up to; why do we never acknowledge them for that?

You know what scares me the most?

How many of these self-righteous, self-indulgent shamers are PARENTS.

This is what you’re indirectly telling your kids.

Being rich is shameful, being successful is shameful, being a government official is shameful.

But do you think these shamers DON’T want their kids to go to an ‘elite’ school? Do they not want their kids to be rich and successful?

Of COURSE they do.

So these kids grow up, aspiring to get into elite schools with government scholarships and enter the government for a cushy job, all brainwashed to think that being rich and successful is shameful and that the government is shit.

Why aren’t these parents going “yes government sucks, so you should study hard, become rich and successful and go into the government and change all these for the better?”

You know how screwed up kids will get with these mixed signals?

Yes, shame the elite, but threaten your kids with “you’re going to become a road sweeper if you don’t study hard” and “you have no future” when they want to drop out or pursuit a non-mainstream career.

You do realize you’re shaming every possible future your kid has, how can ANYONE be happy if every possible avenue in their life is shamed?

Hell we even shame our own country for the lack of culture and arts, but then we shame those brave enough to do culture and arts.

Shaming will always exist but I sure as hell don’t want that to become the mainstream culture in the country I live in.

No one will want to live in Singapore because you’re constantly made to feel bad no matter who or what you do.

No one will be happy in Singapore if you’re made to feel bad about EVERYTHING.

So can we please stop all this shaming and start acknowledging?

Yes, our trains will still fail and our traffic will still suck, but at least we’ll be happier and more fulfilled.

And to you shamers out there, SHAME ON YOU.

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Shame on you

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