Sick and still nagging


There has to be a rule against making a sick person look after non-sick people.

I’m a sad patient right now.

I’m sick, with mild fever and your average cold (nothing serious I know), but instead of having people cook/buy food for me, look after me.

I was home alone the whole day, had to edit an episode of program for work, cook for myself and didn’t even have my bed for half the day because the house wasn’t cleaned so I had to sleep on the damn couch with a stiff pillow and vacuum whirring in the background.

Then round dinner time,  the wonderful old polar bear texts me that he’s at this awesome robataya restaurant that I was supposed to go with him for his birthday which ended up a completely fuck-fest (but let’s just let it go). To be fair, it’s not his idea, I know he isn’t doing this to spite me, I’m glad he thought of me, texted me, sent me pictures, but I’m a sick person now, so there, I get to be all hell bent on rage. Just that, well, it obviously strikes a nerve, wow I wanted to take you there, you’d rather hang out with your friends (I swear, I’M LETTING IT GO!), then now I’m sick and stuck at home, you finally go there to eat and send me photos…what a painful reminder. But yes, he didn’t know, not his fault, not angry at him…just…well..still hurts.

AAAND finally my mom comes home, frets that I have a fever, which is unconfirmed because my house has no functioning thermometer, wants me to use an old and spoiled one to check my temperature….I’m a Virgo, so bite me, I had to spend a good 10 minutes explaining why that’s a bad idea, to which she says then lets get a thermometer tomorrow so you can take your temperature and have the medicine. I get it, we need to buy a new thermometer, but then her whole point of getting it is to make me take fever meds NOW…so what’s the point tomorrow morning when I may not already have fever? Illogical thinking irks me…rawr!! And then I consequently spent like the past hour listening to her talk about work and be negative (even after this very constructive heart to heart talk with her staff) about them and then counsel her into being more positive about it. AND THEN! The damn sleeping issue arises. A quick overview of the sleeping issue. My mom has problems sleeping, so although technically she has 10pm-8am to sleep every day, because she stays up due to insomnia/watching some drama/show/talk on her phone, she only sleeps like 4 hours a day and then complains she’s tired and has no energy and is falling sick. Now, TWO FUCKING MONTHS AGO, a doctor already warned her of this and told her to get meds and I happily supplied that I have melatonin and even the damn doctor agreed that that’s the safest sleep aid and SHE SHOULD TAKE IT. Now two months down the road, she is STILL fucking up her body, and here is me, GENUINELY SICK, having to nag (borderline argue) with her just to TAKE THE DAMN MELATONIN TODAY because she needs to wake up early and have a full day tomorrow.

Bad enough no one is taking care of me, granted I don’t want her doing that when 1. I do a better job looking after myself, 2. she has more important things to do, but then there’s this thing called being considerate of the patient and I get NONE OF THAT. Let the sick person sit there when she’s supposed to sleeping to listen to your insanely negative rant, then let the sick person worry and get mad that you’re not taking care of yourself and still complain that you’re feeling exhausted and unwell…

I  don’t wanna give sympathy today, I’m sorry, I’m sick, I’m tired, evidently no one cares enough to actually spare me a thought and cut me some slack, so I aint cutting anyone slack either.

Now I’m gonna crawl to bed, be miserable and sleep and hope that tomorrow I feel better so that when people give me shit, I have the energy to throw it back instead of feel pathetic and sad.

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Sick and still nagging

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