Musings on being a workaholic

Please read the foreword to this before continuing reading.YOU DIDN’T READ IT DID YOU! hmph! 

I’m a workaholic. It’s actually a really obvious trait of mine that people tend to miss out…I mean come on people, I’m WILLINGLY writing (as up till this musing) 30 thousand over words that isn’t going to get me grades or money.(if the book sells then that’s another story) but anyways, I WILLINGLY DO WORK AND I’M HAPPY DOING IT. I.e. I’m a workaholic.

I personally think that this is an awesome trait because I’ll be productive pretty much the rest of my life. As with all my arguments it is arguable but I don’t give a damn cause it’s my book and I have ALL the say. If you too are a compulsive workaholic, feel free to write an entire book to refute everything I wrote but I bet you’re too lazy…Aaand I’m straying again….god I’m getting old…I love being a workaholic, I mean yes I bitch about work a lot and stress a lot (let me tell you secretly that one of the perks of being a workaholic is being ALLOWED to bitch about work and stress because you actually well…do work.) but it’s eustress (you should google this word, it’s epic.) and it makes me feel productive and happy. The only downside is that I get bored extremely fast and when I’m bored I’m actually STRESSED. So okay being a workaholic means you’re weird, but that’s okay with me.
And as I rant, I shall go into the key point of my musing. DON’T PISS OFF A WORKAHOLIC. You see, I have two modes, work mode and non-work mode (yes very creative of me, I know) and my non-work mode self had an epiphany yesterday that she’d rather die than piss off my workaholic self. Kindly ignore the fact that I seem to have developed some sort of a personality disorder and keep up with me here. My non-work mode self when pissed off is at worse an extremely violent person with potential to destroy physical items and cause bodily harm…it sounds bad but because I’m female…it’s really not that bad. Neither my bite nor my bark really hurts so to speak. Piss off my workaholic self however is another story.

My workaholic self will neither scream nor shout or cause you any bodily harm. In fact, she will smile at you angelically (perhaps a little forced) and maybe almost break the pen she’s holding, and then leave you to your own devices. Sounds good so far? Then wait till you hear this part. THEN she will proceed to draw up pages upon pages of rules, regulations and policies you need to follow and then even MORE pages of consequences that shall befall upon you should you break them which you most definitely will. And THEN she will compile every single little mistake and mishaps you’ve ever had into a neat little table or list, write a 2-3 page report as to why you are unfit for your role and submit it to whomever can bring you doom. These are very true consequences of pissing off my workaholic self as she has managed to get someone removed from their vice-president position. Whilst you cackle evilly at all the work she has to do to make your life miserable, remember that SHE IS A WORKAHOLIC. SHE ENJOYS WORK. She is actually having FUN while planning your suffering. All the work adds to her productivity and happiness meter which all ultimately leads up to your demise that also adds on to her overall achievements.

Hence a word of advice. DON’T PISS OFF WORKAHOLICS.

Musings on being a workaholic

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