Please read the foreword to this before continuing reading. Pretty please with Royce chocolates on top?
If you find a dream, or a person, hold on tight and never let go.
I’d like to point out that if your dreams are fucked up or that person is seriously screwed in the head that it’s better for your health and sanity to let go. If you caught on to the difference between these two statements I just made, chances are you don’t need to read this musing or this book, so feel free to skip and read some of my more random and pointless rants instead of this one.
For those of you who didn’t figure it out, let me make it simple for you with a mathematical statement.
Holding on ≠ Clinging on
The mistake that many people make these days is equating holding on to something with clinging on to it. My wonderful readers, there is a fundamental difference between holding on and clinging on and that is the element of desperation. I’m not saying that conviction is bad, it’s not, We all need to have conviction and determination or we won’t get anywhere. We can’t just call the quits whenever the going gets tough, but there is a limit to this. First of all would be assessing if your dream is even good for you, I mean there is wanting to get married by 25 then there is forcing yourself to get married to a guy you don’t event love at 25. Once again I’d like to bring in sustainable happiness, if your dream brings you sustainable happiness, no reason to not be convicted about it and toughing out the trials and tribulations but for god’s sake people, if whatever you’re holding onto DOESN’T make you happy and won’t contribute to your well-being or happiness in the long run then freaking LET GO.
The real problem about conviction? We’re all dedicated and convicted to hold on, but we have problems letting it go. But really, what is wrong with admitting that you simply don’t want what you used to want anymore? Things change, people change, is it really that bad to admit that you’re fickle or that you were wrong? Is your happiness worth clinging onto something you don’t even want simply because you can’t accept the change?
Of course, I can name many psychological reasons why we tend to cling onto things even when we don’t want them. I used to want to be music producer and until weeks ago I couldn’t accept the fact that I’m simply not that into producing artists as I am into planning events and concerts. The main reason being the fact that I could not accept the fact that if I did give up my previous dream then it would mean that all the efforts I’ve invested towards it and things I’ve told people would go to waste, sometimes we just can’t live with that. Isn’t that why many of us force ourselves to stay with people we don’t even love anymore? Because if we do let go, it would mean that all the time and effort you invested in this person would have gone to waste. But honestly, what would all that time and effort amount to if you didn’t let go? If you clung onto it desperately simply because you didn’t want it to go to waste and you didn’t want to admit you were wrong?
You’d be miserable, confused and frustrated.
Is that really what you want? If we could have negative worth then that’d be it. So yea, giving up and letting go might mean that things amount to nothing but better zero than negative in my book.
There’s a brilliant chinese saying that summarizes what I want to say perfectly:
If you can pick it up then you can put it down.
In short, if you’re brave enough to convict yourself to whatever something is regardless the risks and sacrifices involved then why the hell would you not have the same courage and determination to put it down when it’s not something you want or something you should want anymore?
It’s one thing to be convicted and another to be desperately clinging onto something, it’s better to be lost than forcing yourself to cling on to something out of desperation. Remember, conviction is never an excuse for desperation. You had the guts to take on the challenge, so never be afraid to give it up should you have to.