Musings on wads of tissue paper

Please read the foreword to this before continuing reading. Thou shalt not pass without reading the foreword!!

I have a problem (yes ANOTHER problem…) and that’s WADS OF TISSUE PAPER! They’re like…the bane of my existence. Alright, so in case you didn’t know, my biggest fear is butterflies, I hate pink, cartoons that kids watch these days absolutely annoy me but WADS OF TISSUE PAPER MAKES ME WANNA CLOBBER SOMEONE’S HEAD SILLY, BANG THINGS AGAINST THE WALL, JUMP AROUND IN IRRITATION, SHAKE IN FRUSTRATION AND shrivel up and die. Yes. I hate wads of tissue paper, but wads of tissue paper love me.

I can name SO many reasons why wads of tissue paper annoy, irritate, frustrate, disgust and just UGH me. But none of them can truly convey how baleful I feel towards it….it’s like if you stuck me in a room full of wads of tissue paper, I’d die. AAAH. Ok that’s my worst nightmare. I’d really much rather deal with ghosts and bloody shit….wads of tissue paper?? Uhh….*cringes*
We all know that tissue paper, though biodegradable, kills trees. Not only that, when you throw them on ceilings, wet of course, they stick and become stuck; they clog your toilets and they’re highly unhygienic and even as I think about them I’m getting goosebumps RIGHT NOW, but…all these reasons simply can’t address how much I HATE WADS OF TISSUE PAPER!!!

They torture me so, and I know that they secretly enjoy this power they have over me..these evil wads of tissue paper just have to sit there and POOF they are unleashing inhumane torture upon me! I mean, do you know what they’re problem is!? Before they become wads of tissue paper, they were once nice soft, usually square, pieces of TISSUE PAPER!! Wads of tissue are like crumpled, disfigured….DISRESPECTED!! DEFILED!!! Versions of those awesome tissue paper. But alright, we ALL turn tissue paper into wads after we use them, so the REAAAL problem I have is wads of tissue paper LYING AROUND!!!!!!!!! So they disgust me in waste paper baskets..uncovered, but they’re in the I can live with it. But what I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT STAND, is WADS OF TISSUE PAPER LYING AROUND ON THE TABLE, ON THE FLOOR, ANYWHERE IN MY SIGHT AND NOT IN THE TRASH, it irks me to no end. It’s like…THERE and..NOT IN THE TRASH, all disgusting in their crumpled, damp…probably dirtied, glory *shudder*. I mean, common, why do we crumple tissue paper into wads? Because there’s something on it we want to hide and don’t want to see!!!!! It’s like…dirty even without me hating it!!!! But honestly, if you crumpled a clean piece of tissue paper into a wad of tissue paper, I’d still freak out on you. I just…can’t stand themYUGIYTWERWITV@%&RE#GV(E&%((F%GEH)@!E(&%@DYSYDUTSYD URGHHH WAHHH WADS OF TISSUE PAPER!!! It doesn’t help that people usually wipe their sweat with it and LEAVE IT LYING AROUND IN ITS DAMP AND SOAKED SELFF!!EWWWWWWW!!!!! OK, my sanity is leaving me due to over exposure to thoughts about wads of tissue paper.

So…yea…”UGHH!”and“WAHHH!!!GROAARRRRrfuffyasydfisdet@(&e%uaitdaitd9ASIDGAISYDTFVE5E9125E27STSTSASDGASDFAD(@%e*@$e&%@$eutbsadIATASDTUAY” kind of sums up how I feel about wads of tissue paper.

Musings on wads of tissue paper

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