Please read the foreword to this before continuing reading. Thou shalt not pass without reading the foreword!!
Optimism is like some all-achieving power that manages to turn the world into care bears and unicorns territory. Yea, what nightmare, I know. Though honestly, the concept of ‘the bigger they are, the harder they fall’ quite applies in this place. The opposite of optimism isn’t pessimism, it’s really REALISM. Optimistic people aren’t realistic, and to be fair neither are pessimistic people.
Take for example a lost wallet (because I recently lost mine), an optimist would believe that they would find the wallet either because a good Samaritan picked it up or it will be mailed back to their house (since their ICs are in it). A pessimist will think that their wallet will be sold in the black market, credit cards abused, bank account made blank and IC sold to some random dude trying to smuggle himself somewhere. I know, both speculations seem highly -_-lll-able. Why? BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT REALISTIC! But you must think, well won’t the pessimist at least be happy when reality (that isn’t as bad as what he/she imagines) sets in?
Guys, and girls. We don’t really get upset because of circumstances, well we do, but it’s not really what bugs us when things go wrong. You know that annoying feeling that nags at you and makes you feel detached from the world when things don’t go your way? Yes, THAT feeling happens not because something BAD happens, it’s because IT DIDN’T GO YOUR WAY, i.e. IT’S UNEXPECTED. When you win a competition you didn’t expect to win, you get that SAME detached feeling, excepted it’s made into a positive detachment by your happiness since it’s a GOOD thing. Which is why when unexpected good things happen you suddenly feel light and happy and a little overwhelmed and need to pinch yourself to confirm that you’re still attached to reality; the same can be said for when bad things happen except your negative emotions turn that detachment into a negative one, since you’re inevitably upset. Bottom line is, we get that weird feeling because THINGS DIDN’T FOLLOW THE PLAN IN OUR HEAD.
Let us be honest with ourselves and admit that we all have god complexes no matter how minor, we like things to be predictable, it makes us feel safe, we have time to prepare and deal with whatever comes our way. You may like surprises but in general you already plan to be PLEASANTLY surprised, not badly. Like on your birthday, you secretly wish that people will throw you a SURPRISE birthday party, but once that thought enters your head, it becomes a plan, an EXPECTATION, and when expectations aren’t met, we get disappointed and unhappy. And when expectations are exceeded, we’re happy, surprised but also innately and subconsciously uncomfortable because we’d have to recalibrate all our OTHER expectations of the people/environment etc, there’s a sense of insecurity that is usually blanketed by the happiness but that insecurity and induced change happens and is STILL THERE.
Hence in both cases, optimists and pessimists will feel uncomfortable either way. And if expectations are NOT met, typically optimists have it even worse than pessimists; and pessimists being pessimists will find ways to emo about things being BETTER than what they expected anyways. (Go figure.) Alright, just to highlight the point, optimism isn’t as good as you think it is. You want to be happy, don’t be optimistic, real happy people aren’t one sides optimists, because if you are, you will one day face that grave disappointment that will devastate you. You will get up of course, but you’d have faced reality and there are better ways to compromise with reality and positivity than a wakeup call as rude as this. Real happy people, real positive people are those who can see and assume the worse but still take it in stride and think of it as ‘well that’s not so bad.’ In essence, real positivity is being able to be optimistic about the most pessimistic possibility. So yes, it sounds contradicting and almost hypocritical but it’s TRUE and it WORKS.
‘Yea, the world’s going to end, and we’re all going to die, but I can deal with it. At least I’ll die happy.’ See when you think about it that way, it’s not that bad isit? ^_^V