Musings on checklists

Please read the foreword to this before continuing reading. Thou shalt not pass without reading the foreword!!

Checklists are like virgo drugs. If personality tests are girl crack then checklists are its equivalent to virgos and any other neurotic people out there. FYI, my birthday is awesomely the 9th of September, which makes me a virgo!

If I was the president of a country, or heck, GOD, I would order every single one of my people to get a planner/schedule book/notebook and what you have it and START MAKING CHECKLISTS for everyday life. Seriously, HOW DO YOU PEOPLE LIVE WITHOUT ONE!!!!! It’s like this god sent …list…with THINGS TO DO WRITTEN ON IT! SO YOU WILL NEVER FORGET! Granted, it means you can’t really use ‘I forgot’ as an excuse when you didn’t do something but it’s so…powerful!! Yes I’m obsessed with checklists, I think if I didn’t have one I wouldn’t be able to live my life.

Ok I lied, when I’m in ‘I don’t feel like doing anything’ mode, even though I write down things to do, doesn’t mean I do them. But but THAT’S THE BEAUTY OF IT! Checklists are like mini-plans! Except they’re shorter and easier and uh shorter and you just write them! I mean ok ok let me get back to the point I’m trying and failing to stay on.

Basically, when you make a checklist, you feel like you’ve got everything sorted, you feel secure, you feel assured and you feel prepared. Then….just go do whatever you want! Screw the checklist! It’s like you vomited all your worries and problems onto that little list so now you can enjoy life! Alright so if it’s REALLY important stuff you can’t really just say ‘screw it, I wanna enjoy life’ but I mean come on! Checklists are like stress balls! It relieves anxiety and UNLIKE that useless squishy thingy, YOU GET THE ILLUSION THAT YOU’RE DOING WORK! So it’s like…even illusively productive!! SEE! Aren’t checklists amazing!

And you know that’s not even the best part! The single most awesomest thing about checklists is WHEN YOU TICK IT OFF! You feel so damn accomplished and the more ticks you tick the more accomplished you feel, nevermind if the thing is something completely retarded and insignificant. Do you people see the POTENTIAL of this!! It means, if you’re ever feeling down, or useless or unaccomplished, all you have to do is make a list of simple things to do or heck SPLIT the things into smaller easier things to do and then tick them off, and you’ll feel SOO damn accomplished because you finished a to-do list of like 20 things in one day (even if effectively, 19 of those things were negligible). It’s all in the mind anyway, we need to keep our minds happy so in the long run we’re happy and more productive, yup, I’m totally coming up with excuses for cheating checklists but…ALAS! What has to be done, needs to be done.

So yes you freedom loving people who don’t appreciate the AWESOMNESS and USEFULNESS of checklists (I mean it’s like a life-planner, sedative, stress ball and ..list, ALL IN ONE!!! Talk about value for money! It doesn’t get better than this man). See this is why, though we have handphones with planners in it, people still buy the paperback planners and notebooks, the PHYSICAL actions of putting your pen on the paper and making that awesome TICK is just SOOOOO satisfying, I swear sometimes it’s better than sex. Ok so maybe I’m exaggerating, but IT’S JUST THE AWESOMEST FEELING IN THE WORLD. It’s like I DID SOMETHING!!
Ahem, anyways, people, REVERE IN THE AWESOMESSS OF CHECKLIST!!!!!!!!

Musings on checklists

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