Some things never change.
Ultimately, at the end of the day, she will never compromise herself for me, it’ll always be an half-assed attempt and I’ll always be stuck dealing with shitty consequences.
I should, can and WILL see my way and my path through.
I’ve always said that if there is no place in this world for you, then make one yourself. Forge your own path. Make life work for you, not the other way round. Your (sustainable) happiness comes first. To not let labels define you but to let yourself define the label. Stay true to yourself, live with no regrets and die with no regrets. Make plans and shelf them. Trust your instincts.
Yes well my instincts are screaming the following:
I HATE NEW YORK CITY.
I should visit the damn place and see if NYU is really THE PLACE for me.
There is no place on earth where I belong or that suits me, no school, no country, no PLACE and that I got to MAKE such a place for myself. (My nesting habits exists for a reason)
I can make the best out of anything and everything, but I shouldn’t choose the harder ways to do it.
I WANT TO HAVE BOTH HAPPINESS AND SUCCESS AND I’M WILLING TO WORK HARD FOR THEM!
I WANT TO BE ME AND BE HAPPY BEING ME.
If I give up on NYU it’s on my terms. Because I KNOW I can make any choice any degree and any school or place work out for me. That’s the kind of person I am, there is no BEST CHOICE, only making the best out of a choice.
I also know that I’m not the kind of person to make a decision I’m SURE will suck, or not confirm if a decision will end up sucking. I’m a virgo, we like to minimize losses. I am a Chocomon and we are random, crazy and ourselves and if we are forced to a place where we can’t be ourselves, it’s not good. And as a bwebwy, I never leave my family behind!
I can make things work, but precisely because I can make anything work for me, I shouldn’t choose the choice that I have to compromise the most and suffer the most. My views of values are different from most people and I’m usually right (at least to myself),so what other people think don’t matter. As long as I’m happier.
I want to be the person who can create unforgettable experiences, I want to be someone like Walt Disney, and beyond. My dream is to inspire people, make people happy, make impressing memories. If that is my goal and a path that doesn’t exist, which means I can carve the damn road wherever I want however I want. Hey the company is called SOLOSKY for a reason, SOLO as in the path is mine and mine alone. (and many other meanings besides that but at the moment that isn’t the point)
I want to travel and see the world and experience the world, meet new people, spread happiness and inspiration and memorable experiences to them and then come home to a place where I am happy and inspired.
So I’m going to be who I am.
I will listen to my instincts not because it doesn’t let me down but because when it does, I’m content to deal with the consequences.
I will visit bloody NYC BEFORE we buy the damn apartment, I will determine if the city is as bad or as good as people say it is, I will determine if NYU is worth it and if it’s not and I don’t want to go there then I DON’T. I’ll go somewhere where I’ll be happy, at peace and at ease so I can FOCUS on continuing being who I am and achieving my goals and dreams!
I never listened to people before and I won’t start now.
THIS TIME, I’m making things go my way. It’s my life and if I don’t run it then I might as well not live it.