I’ve been told that I’m very bouncy as a person.
They probably mean that I’m very energetic and can’t settle down. Which is true. I’m also literally very bouncy one my toes, I jump around a lot. But I think I’m bouncy in another way too!
You can throw me on the ground, I’ll just bounce back twice as high, I call it the rubber ball effect. I can’t be kept down for long, although of course, I will have to hit rock bottom to rebound, but it’s cool, I call that experiencing life for all its ups and downs.
And I’ve been down long enough really. Remember those days where I will do what I believe in and believed in myself and what I do? (Or rather did things until I believed in myself). Well I do and I miss it, and I don’t want to miss it.
What people say about me or the limits people set on the individuals of society are meant to be ignored, broken. I never obeyed them then and I won’t start now. My mom says that my core essence as a person is rebellion. Well makes sense I guess, since Ri stands of rebelliously indifferent. Rebelling is so negative, but to be fair I don’t conform either. I forge my own path, if I conform it’s because I want to, because it suits my needs and fancy, because it goes my way. Life doesn’t go the way we want it to, but there are two types of people, one type blames the world and life for not going the way they want it to, the other does everything in their power to change life into what they want it to be. There is compromising, which I do when it’s convenient for me but ultimately I’m stubborn and I believe that if you’re obstinate enough, you can out-last even life and reality. As long as you stick to a belief stubbornly enough and stubbornly stay on the road to make it happen, life will give in. Really obstinacy is a virtue in my opinion, it’s also called determination but I call determination euphemism. No one is determined without being stubborn about silly things as well.
So yea…I guess I really am a stubborn rebel. I believe in what I want, do what I want and I don’t care what other people think. Actually I do care, I just don’t care enough to change what I think until I personally think that what they believe in is right..which happens very rarely…that’s where the indifferent part comes in I think. You can say what you want, I won’t go against you because you’re entitled to what you want to think and I respect that but don’t expect me to react to it. My road is my road and I stand by it, you can put posies or roses or chocolate on your road and I’ll acknowledge but good luck getting to me change what I do because of you. I can’t say that I’m never affected though so I guess I work towards indifference, since I prefer to be unruffled all the time. I’m doing good so far, I can brush off most things, except myself, but I don’t think for someone this self-centered, it’s a good idea to brush yourself off. >-<
Conforming is something I absolutely suck at and I’m cool with it. I shouldn’t try, I’ve been starting to try lately, which is ruining me. I am who I am, and if I conform is because I want to…for some purpose. I shouldn’t conform to fit in, I should conform to achieve a purpose and if there is no purpose then I shouldn’t conform because of fear or pressure. You either change an anomaly or you get used to it, well people’s going to have to get used to me then. Though don’t you think having an ever changing bouncy rubberball in your life is fun and exciting! And I forgot cute =P