Don’t wanna try

I don’t get why I am the bad guy when I’m the one who gets told that ‘this relationship isn’t my biggest concern’ and is being treated like dirt that is swept under the carpet.

I keep holding on no matter what gets thrown my way, hate, annoyance, ignorance, indifference. But it comes to a point where I don’t wanna try anymore. What’s the point if only I’m trying? I feel like an IDIOT who is trying to force a relationship out of a one-sided love.

Is it so WRONG to be upset about not being treated as a girlfriend in front of OTHER girls? Is it so wrong to be hurt about having happily trying to be affectionate to your boyfriend only to be ignored. I don’t know, at some point it started feeling like the annoyance actually hurt less than this whole “you’re just a friend” act. If I had to hug something unresponsive, then I’d rather it be a pillar.

It’s kinda hard to hold on when all you do are being IGNORED and thrown back at your face. Sorry if I’m hurt and upset and can’t keep going anymore. Hell, I don’t know why is it that I love someone so much and they always don’t give a shit about me. I’m the secret girlfriend, the best friend in times of need who is treated like a bro rather than a lover.

What’s the point again? To be there for someone all the time, anytime and to have no one there for you in your times of need?

I don’t wanna try anymore…you can do the work this time.


Don’t wanna try

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