Painkillers? I need sanity pills. Or insanity….

Sometimes having sanity is a bad bad thing. Why? It makes you realize that you’re stuck in crazy shit, that’s why. See if you’re insane, you don’t really realize that somethings are going wrong.

I’m just so sick and tired of all this…annoying INSTABILITY and random factors in my life. One day, I’ll be surrounded by happy people, the next everyone seems to be like PMSing bitches out to get me. And the worse part is, YOU’RE NOT EVEN ALLOWED TO WALLOW IN SOME SELF-PITY! The culprits starts acting all self-justified and saying that ‘oh you’re exaggerating!’ or, ‘by who do you mean everyone?’ oh, i don’t know, ALL THE PEOPLE WHO AREN’T BEING SANE MAYBE? YOU INCLUDED!? (no offense to those who belong to the pack of proton positive, sane people.)

Oh the temptation to just cut yourself off from the world, disappear somewhere and be happy, or peaceful. Nothing can go right, well ok not nothing, that’d be being ungrateful. Everything that doesn’t involve human factors aka people i know personally in my life right now are going great! College applications, training, you know the stuff you put in effort to do that gets done? Rational, practical, non-emotional things.

I think I’m like hypersensitive/allergic to emotions man, any dose of it just riles me right up the wall. I just want peace, mundane, boring life. Ok no I don’t, but if dynamic life comes with drama and emoness then count me out. IT’S JUST SO FUCKING ANNOYING! LIFE ISN’T SO GOD DAMN COMPLICATED. Fuck, seriously, if I had a pair of scissors that can cut off threads of insanity, instability and emoness from my life, I would. Snip snip snap snap POOF.

That or someone hook me up with some insanity, like you know, remove MY sanity so I don’t feel like I’m immersed in this swirling vortex of doom.

There’s the yes man, but right now i just want to scream NO.

NO MORE!! NO NO NO NO NO!!! I’m not putting up with all this crap!!! I deserve goodness in my life! Nice people, HAPPY people, SANE people. Helpful people. UGH!!!!!!! No actually, alternatively, just let me be ALONE. I can deal with myself, yes myself I can deal with.

I’m a proton that’s reduced to a neutron boarder-lining electron. Ah how awesome that physics can explain everything in life.

I should follow my own advice. Somethings are larger than life. I just need to see everything in a different light. IMPOSSIBLE IS NOTHING! Ok it’s something, that doesn’t exist.

Painkillers? I need sanity pills. Or insanity….

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