Bury me please…


FUCK!!!
 
I swore that I will never bitch here EVER AGAIN after the last time because I respect my current relationship, so it won’t be bitching material, but seriously, FUCK. I can’t take this and I NEED to vent this somewhere.
 
Yes, I AM looking for sympathy, because HELL, I can’t seem to bicth in peace without a certain someone ALL on MY CASE, because his life is fucked up too. Well, my not so heavenly to begin with patience has just reached its peak and I can’t afford to explode in real life.
 
So yes Genghis, I WANT you to read this, and I don’t give a DAMN if it makes you emo and upset and that’s it’s TOTALLY INCONSIDERATE of your feelings cause you weren’t of mine so I don’t give a FUCK about yours.
 
I haven’t done ANYTHING to suffer all this, I didn’t do a GOD DAMN THING and yet I’m suffering for it…GOD DAMMIT.
 
So first I have to get my hopes up that you’re coming back on the 8th and then you can’t. To be fair it isn’t YOUR fault.
 
Then you tell me that you’ll DEFINITELY, yes I hope you remeber that word ‘DEFINITELY’ because it’s important and it fucking COUNTS, come back on the 15th, need I remind everyone that TODAY is the 15th and guess what, you tell me you’re coming back NEXT FRIDAY on the 22nd. And oh, should I remind you that YOU told me that you’re coming back and going back on CHINESE NEW YEAR. 
 
But NOOOOO, you’re coming back for 4-5 DAYS, on the 22nd. And you’re leaving on the 27th? 
 
What about your promise to be there to watch the drama? To go for lessons together? 
You fucking promised.
 
So you know what, just FUCKING STAY IN MIRI AND NEVER COME HERE EVER AGAIN.
 
GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY LIFE AND STOP MAKING ME MISERABLE BECAUSE OF YOU.
 
I don’t know why I put up with all this. All the things I do for you. EVERYTHING I DO I TRY TO HELP YOU AND NOW YOU GIVE ME THIS.
 
It doesn’t occur to you that I’ll be working my ass off, so you can’t even STAY to spend time with me when I’m FREE or SUPPORT me on the thing that is making my life a LIVING HELL.
 
You know what’s WORSE?
Let me tell you what’s worse.
 
You’re coming back for your FUCKING results, which is why you’re coming back almost TEN FUCKING DAYS FROM NOW. For a BLOODY PIECE OF PAPER.
Yes, I feel like ALL my tolerance and effort and whatever the shit I go through has been worth every MOMENT of it because a STUPID piece of paper is SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL THAN ME.
 
I can cry and beg you to come back but all YOU do is yell at me. But a single piece of paper can make you come back for it.
 
If you DO come back. Go fucking stay in a HOTEL.
 
I’ll pack ALL YOUR THINGS and send them BACK TO YOUR HOUSE.
 
You can go to Australia with your friends and do what your dad wants because guess what, whatever happens, I’m always the one getting the short end of the stick.
 
So much for love and staying together.
 
You used to call me when you’re driving, before we’re even together.
 
Now the car is a god damned EXCUSE to hang up on me.
 
Fuck you, really just fuck you.  
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Bury me please…

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