Meaning of life

The meaning of life, On a grand philosophical scale, is to live.

Living sounds simple, and it is, but it also isn’t.

Living us experiencing life, and life itself is such a deep and multifaceted subject, it’s easily overwhelming.

The sort of life we live everyday, the ‘surface’ life, is one part of it, but it’s not nearly enough to fulfill our need for living.

Other humans, the earth, ourselves, all these are part of life too…the universe itself, in its all encompassing state, is life. and to live is to experience it all, mentally, physically and spiritually.

If you’re not fulfilling all three of the above ways of life, you’ll feel lost, upset.

It is also why sometimes making realizations can be soul fulfilling. Or eating something amazing can be physically fulfilling.

There are many ways to ‘live’, because there are many ways to fulfill our different needs.

We choose the way best suited for ourselves.

Which way will you choose?

Meaning of life

Stories are journies

My body is completely drained, so I’ll try to be brief. (I forgot how corrosive it is to just sit before the computer fornlojg periods)

We learn best when we expeirence things, aka undergo a journey.

Stories take us on journies. As do anything that tells a story, art, music and of course books and movies.

That’s why so many people understand things, idea of love, family, happiness, romance, tragedy, life etc. Through films and books. It’s not the words, but the journey it takes you on that allows you to feel those concepts via experience.

Okay I’m done word vomiting now.

Time to Conk

Stories are journies

Live your life

Alright fluffies, listen up. Today we’re talking about how to live your life.

Your life.

The life you want.

As an avid (but not necessarily good) gamer, I’ve got some game-based advice.

Here’s the thing, sometimes we think too much about what society thinks and not enough about what our end goals are.

So here’s a step-by-step (or more like an all over the place) guide to living the life you want.

Now, I understand that reality is a harsh place and you will have to compromise on many things and that you won’t be living your dream life. But it’s working towards it that counts. =D

1.Figure out how you want your life to be like

I mean this is pretty obvious right? In games you don’t just run around, you have some kind of goal in mind. Be it clearing a dungeon, getting a certain armor, unlocking a certain medal, or even just leveling up. You need to do the same in real life too.

Now, this isn’t asking you what you want to do in life, just what kind of life you want to live. You want to work 4 days a week? 7 days a week? You want to freelance? Stay at home? Work in an office? Travel? What?

2. Make a plan

Once you’ve got that down, you need to, unfortunately, sit down and plan. What days you want to work, what days you want to rest, your house, your rough daily routine and most importantly, how much money you need.

Sorry, unfortunately we can’t run away from needing money. Think of it this way, they’re a resource. In games you need coins and monster parts to do stuff, in real life we need money.

So figure out how much you need to make to live the life you want.

3. Grind.

Now, if you’re a lucky bastard, or privileged, maybe you’ll realize you financially stable enough to skip this step. Congratulations. For the rest of us, NOW WE GRIND.

I think this is the part that everyone gets stuck at or balks at doing and thus never lives the life they want.

Grinding includes lots of things, most of them boring and unpleasant. If you want to travel the world, grinding for you will most likely be saving up funds…which means doing a boring job for a set period of time to acquire the finances you want. If it’s doing a start-up it might mean finding investors, applying for funding etc.

Even if it’s something as simple as living a healthy lifestyle or becoming a stay-at-home person you need to grind in the form of getting into shape, setting up your routine, settling loose ends or heck, even buying the right household items.

A lot of times, some people start grinding and although their end goal isn’t to grind (for some people they enjoy the constant grind so that’s great for them), but due to social pressure or just god knows what reason, they are lost to the grind and even though they’ve met their minimum requirement…they don’t get out of it and follow through with their end goal.

Of course, lots of self-help books cover the above point so I won’t bother with it.

What I do want to emphasize is that WE MUST NOT NOT GRIND. Pardon the double negative. Most people refuse to make the change when they realize that they have a long road of grinding ahead of them.

As all us gamers know, grinding is inevitable. You want your shiny thing, you gotta put in the corresponding hard work. Real life is no different. Except grinding in real life will take longer…so… patient. Don’t give up.

So..bottom line is, you grind.

Now unlike games, where rewards are guarantees, sometimes your grinding doesn’t give you exactly what you want…make the best of it.

Which leads me to…


Yes, you have arrived at the oversimplified step 4. Step 4 is a never-ending process until you change your life plan. So actually it’s more like a cycle..

Step 4 needs one key ingredient. Courage.

For some strange reason, we always feel like we owe people around us an explanation as to how we live our life. WHY!? WE NOBODY NOTHING (unless you’re the bank and I took a bank loan then yes I owe you something). Ahem, people will judge you for how you live your life. Be it because they’re envious, not-understanding or just downright bored.

People will ask you why you’re quitting your job, you’ll feel the need to justify the change in your life. And for some bizarre reason, you’re going to find that ‘BECAUSE IT MAKES ME HAPPY/BECAUSE I WANT TO’ a not good enough reason. (It’s a plenty good enough reason guys. Take it from me)

So to enable yourself to tank all these stupid comments, you need courage. Although a supportive social circle doesn’t hurt. Either.

So to summarize:


See, it’s not that hard right!

Oh god this is like the worst post I have ever written. I swear it sounded a lot better in my head.

Live your life

Thanks for making me a writer

Hello greater powers out there.

I would like to take my time today to thank you for making me a writer.

I know you made me into many things, I also sometimes feel, whenever I do find the time to sit down and explore my noggin and personality that as a person, I encompass a rather large spectrum of emotional and mental traits. That’s just fancy talk for ‘I’m a complicated person’. The euphemism for that though is ‘I’m a balanced person’.

Ahem, but that’s me straying as usual.

I’d to thank you (guys) for making me a writer because being a writer has made me capable of feeling so much. Everything from the purest, most innocent and righteous of emotions of a saint to the dark, deplorable, twisted darkness of a psychopath.

It’s allowed me the safety net of words and imagined worlds, to explore the extent of the human condition. It’s also afforded me to the incredible ability to sympathize with others, a trait that my more self-centred default persona sometimes forgets to do. (Pulling my head out of my ass is usually an afterthought for me, I’d admit ungracefully.)

I may not be the best writer out there, but I’m still grateful for this gift.

Being a writer is an incredible thing.

Thanks for making me a writer

Means and methods

Hello blog!

I thought today I’d talk a bit about stuff I suck at.

AKA math, program, codes and all that.

I’d like to think that I’m not stupid, but at the same time you won’t see me applying for a Bachelor of Science because…well it’s not my strength.

I’m not good at technical things, but I’m not really sure if I’m really not good at it or is it because I tell myself that.

I know that I’m not good at technical things in comparison to more…conceptual things. But that’s like comparing your right hand to your left hand.

Thing is, with themed entertainment these days, experience design etc. All these are now being made amazing, made a possibility because of technology.

Which means if you want to do it right, you can’t escape learning all these technical things. I will have to if I want to work in this field, regardless of position.

But you know that gut feeling that tells you what’s right and wrong?

I still don’t get the ‘this is right’ gut feeling when I look at design degrees/art degrees that involve a lot of..programming and math.

And I think a lot of this is because of fear. There was a point of time in my life where I did math for fun. Outside the sphere of school and classes and tests, in a patient and nurturing environment, I actually enjoy these things.

Which led me to realize that this is actually how I learnt all my technical skills. Yes I took a film course, but I didn’t really get into the technicalities of editing until I took a private Premiere Pro class.

I guess when I’m learning these technical things independently, I know that I’m learning them as means of realizing a creative concept. And because of that, it doesn’t scare me, it doesn’t feel like something I don’t understand.

So what I am trying to say with this post is that, there’s going to be a lot of grunt and dirty work you’ll need to do when you want to achieve something. If you see them as means and methods, you won’t be so averse to them anymore. They won’t seem like something unapproachable and scary anymore because they’re just a part of something you do know and do like.

I can live with that.

Means and methods

Letter to the past

Hey past me,

I know you’ll never get this letter, but I wish that there was some way you could receive this.

So I was reading this fic, it was called broken, I really shouldn’t have read it because I’m crying my eyes out now.

You, I…we, are so much stronger now that we sometimes forget how broken we were.

I thought you deserved to know how much stronger, better, happier we have become.

Because you really need to know.

I know you hate yourself right now, I know you hate the world, you hate the mess that you are, you hate life for making you this way and you hate yourself for being so weak that you let yourself get mangled like that.

I know that sometimes you wonder if you broke yourself, why can’t you just be happy.

I know, I really know.

And I want to tell you just how strong you are, and how amazing you are and how grateful I am that you aren’t, did not and will not give up on yourself.

That you decided to just accept how much you hated the state you were in and get your shit together.

I know you really need to hear this from me because there is probably no one else around you right now to tell you all these things.

I know you’re probably crying to yourself, alone in the toilet dredging up every miserable memory you ever had about you crying there, whispering words of comfort to yourself even though they feel like lies because it’s the only you can keep yourself sane. And you probably marvel at the back of your head how fucked up you are that you still have the braincells left to comfort yourself even though you feel like a wreck.

I know you hate yourself for being so strong sometimes that you can’t break. That you want to just pass out, or maybe just give in and kill yourself so someone else can pick up after you.

I also know that you know, with sobering clarity that there will be no one. There is no one, that you are truly all alone.

I’m not enabling you to hate them, I know all your hate is for yourself. I want you to know that years down the road, you don’t hate these people for not being there. You know why they can’t, you understand why they couldn’t be, you sympathize with their struggles. Although sometimes you feel like punching them for telling you in your face about how sorry they are to not have been there and listen to their excuses. It gets a little annoying that they’re so shameless about it. That they don’t know how bad it was. Sometimes the urge to show them how bad it was is still there, it’s not to guilt them, just…to want people to know, to share. It’s cathartic.

But I’ve kind of strayed, like we always do.

I’m writing this letter to you to thank you for being strong, strong enough to admit that you were weak, that you aren’t perfect, that you need to be selfish, to be human and just be happy. I know you don’t feel that way, but who we are right now, we aren’t strong like you right now. We’re happy, we’re stable, we’re good. But we’re not strong, at least not compared to you.

It takes courage, so much courage, to just look at the wreck within yourself and not run away, and just accept reality; accept that no one will come fix you up, that yes you are broken, your world is broken and you need to just start picking up the pieces and not just fix it and make it better.

It was a painful journey, but you fucking made it, you’re amazing now.

Thank you, just, thank you. I wouldn’t be me without you being you.

Some days, we think about burying the past, we feel ashamed of who we were because we are better now.

Those days are no more, because without past us admitting that we need to get our shit together, we wouldn’t be where we are. Past us’ mistakes are what makes us strong. Makes us, us.

So hate yourself a little less k? I know you really need a hug right now, I wish I could be there to give it to you, because no one deserves to go through what you’ve had to go through all alone. But fucking hell woman, you did, you did it. I’m proud of you, so proud.

Your suffering isn’t for nothing, you’ll learn so much from this, you’ll be able to help so many people because of this pain.

There will be days that you’re so put together now that you forget, and you’re unable to sympathize, but I promise, we won’t forget. We will wear this scar proudly.

So past me, hang in there k? I hope, that magically, some how, some way, you will be able to feel all the love and energy I’m sending to you right now. Not that you need it, but it’s the though that counts?

Eternal love and gratitude (and mild concern about my level of narcissism after writing this letter)

Present (future?) me.

Letter to the past