Looking back at my 2016, I think I did a lot and grew a lot.
I cannot in good conscience say that I am wasting my life away, regardless of what anyone says.
It’s been an eventful year, and the year certainly wound down in the second half, and I think that was a good thing. To give myself a time to recharge and rest. That was my original plan in life, not non-stop working but bursts of work and bursts of rest, and continuous learning and self-growth/care.
Germination and incubation is important.
We all need time to recharge and reflect and digest.
So today I thought I’d rather look back at what I’ve gained from my down time rather than revisit the obvious achievements.
I’ve honestly really really gained a LOT in my down time this year mentally.
I’ve learnt that we are a spectrum, everything is a spectrum. Our traits can manifest in good ways or bad ways and it’s up to us to manage that. We are fluid. And that has helped me really take a huge step forward in terms of self-love. To see the two sides of the coins even of my flaws was great for appreciating every single aspect of me.
Another thing I learnt is that how others treat you is not about you, but more about them. It’s easy to assign blame to ourselves, and it’s important to be able to take blame. But how another interacts with you is more based on who THEY are rather than how you are. Friend is late all that time? It’s more likely that they are innately a person who has a shit sense of time rather than because you aren’t important enough.
I’ve also learnt about reciprocal possession, and how that is how relationships of any kind should be. Don’t treat others how you want to be treated. We all want to be treated differently, treat someone how THEY want to be treated. If we love and care for someone, we will naturally want to fulfill their needs and wants and they will do the same for us, there is reciprocity, and that’s beautiful.
On that note, no one exists purely to satisfy one person’s needs. We satisfy needs and wants out of love, but we our value and worth is not dictated by how well we satisfy needs and wants of people or things. Perhaps at work, where we are objectified as tools to fulfill a purpose. But in human interactions? That’s not how it is.
Life is an experience, we are an experience. It is all am amalgamation of interactions between different agents and factors..and it never stays the same. It will continue to evolve till the end of time, and we are here to…be part of the experience. And that’s a beautiful thing, if we can open ourselves up to really appreciate each leg of the journey, and not focus on the parts we want to see.
Finally, the biggest perspective shift is really the idea of abundance mindset and a closed system. Scarcity brings about the idea of fear, which incites all that is ugly in us. The answer to fear, is love. Abundance brings about love. We know we will all have enough, there is enough to go around, that security reminds us to think of others, to share, to give…and so everyone has enough. It’s a beautiful thing. A world overflowing.
Identity wise, I’m to have identified my personal needs and wants, relationship needs and wants and..I guess my compass. Meaning. I want to live a meaningful life. What that means to ME is not to build and empire or become a saint and save millions of children. I just want to make sure that every action I do, living my normal every day life (well maybe not so normal..), it is all filled with meaning. And meaning is such a core part of the me that my centre is to bring meaningful experiences to people. Finding meaning creates so much…strong constructive emotions. I used to think that happiness is my core, but that has evolved. Happiness is beautiful and wonderful, but what we need may not be happiness all the time, happiness can be stressful too. But meaning, that’s so much richer, and meaning will be what you want and need in that frame of time.
I’ve also identified that I have designer’s brain, a writer’s heart and an explorer’s soul. I still don’t know how these labels will come together. I know I am me, but I’m not really too sure what I want ‘me’ to be. I’m a work in progress I guess. I played around with the idea of being an experience designer, but that doesn’t really represent my writer’s heart and explorer’s soul.
With that in mind, my goals for next year, what I want to strive towards is:
- Being more loving, with self-love and towards others..to truly adopt the abundance mindset. Put self first and take care of own needs before others is the healthy way to go and to care for people.
- Practice empowered receiving AND asking
- Make every aspect of my life more meaningful and contribute more to the good of the world, even if it’s only in little ways
- To distill, what kind of ‘me’ I want to be at this time of my life
- To create the first prototype of what a meaningful experience can be.
- To connect myself to the greater world by being more mindful, and not get sucked into tunnel vision. To be balanced.
- be part of the greater world, see and touch more lives. And see and touch more things so you can empathize better and give more meaningful Expeirence and bring more people togeth
And that’s me for 2017. I’m not writing about the projects because they’re manifestations of my beliefs and values. Just like how achievement comes AFTER happiness, actions come from thoughts. So to me, it is all these perspective changes that I need to really adopt and they will naturally translate into projects and actions that I can be proud of.
But yea, I’ve really grown a LOT last year. I’ve..grown into myself. And now it’s time to grow into the world, to lean in and stretch my wings.
PS: FOLLOW UP
So…I figured I should probably brainstorm some proper steps for my one MHD a week thing for next year. So what are some stuff that you wanna do next year. Stuff for yourself? Dance. And martial arts. Explore!!!! Try a new way of living? Go Expeirence more meaningful Expeirence explore what that topic means. But okay actual things things I wanna do. Hm… a fun bucket list? Exhibitions, parks, places. Okay okay lets try a list:
- River Safari
- Coney Island
- Sister Island
- Henderson Wave
- Audiophile Cafe
- VR Arcade
- Wall Climbing thing
- Movie on the beach?
- Dance and martial arts and Contact Improv
- Harry Potter Poster exhibition