An obvious question

We all know the answer to this, but I’m still gonna ask it:

Why is it that what are considered sexually provocative actions done by men okay and not considered sexual?

Like, the same ‘sexy dance’ can be performed by a male on morning TV and it’s not considered sexual or crass but by female it’s too sexually suggestive and shit.


It’s not the movement that’s the problem then is it?

Women’s body are perceived to be sexual in nature even though a butt is a butt.

And mammary glands and mammary glands.

Society is weird when you look at it objectively.

An obvious question

Sometimes you just need to do it

With all the posts, articles and books about how to increase productivity, how to improve your health and a gazillion other things, I’m reminded of something  one of my exes said.

The reason why self-help books don’t work for so many people is because no one actually follows it, much less word for word.

Indeed, perhaps following the book will not give you 1000% success, but there’s bound to be SOME results,

But you won’t get to them if you don’t do it.

Reading productivity articles don’t make you more productive.

You’ll probably figure out WHY you’re NOT productive and will become able to give advice to others but at the end of the day, if you want to make ANYTHING happen…you need to just…DO IT.

Like that’s it.


Two letters, one word.

Usually the hardest damn thing in life to do.

Sometimes you just need to do it

Owning it

I’ve been confused.

What about?


It’s so hard these days.

Media is under fire for sexually objectifying women.

I totally agree that we need less sexualized female figures in media.


Do we need less objectification?



But, suddenly being sexy is equivalent to being against feminism and gender equality, and that bugs me.

Like the line between slut shaming and feminism is so fine these days I almost wish genders didn’t exist.

Is it a crime for a woman to dress up, feel pretty, feel sexy and BE sexy if she WANTS to?

It’s wrong for women to feel like they are obliged to look a certain way.

Women shouldn’t feel like failures if they AREN’T sexy according to some arbitrary beauty standards, but women also shouldn’t feel like failures for wanting to be sexy.

I know that looks aren’t everything, but that’s like saying because looks aren’t everything, you must be a superficial and shallow person if you like to wear nice clothes and make yourself look aesthetically pleasing.

Because feminism is still finding its way, I think women are still finding a way to embrace their sexuality while showing society that they’re more than their looks.

It’s fine line to toe, it’s difficult to toe this line.

But if we don’t work something out, I think women would just be swapping one cage for another.

And I know that stuff are being done. Feminist movements are happening on all spectrums of society…

But it doesn’t make it any less confusing, and for the time being, being sexy is still widely considered as being trashy and unintelligent.

Owning it

Less isn’t more, but more isn’t always more

We are obsessed with how scalable ideas are these days.

But honestly, just because you CAN make something bigger doesn’t mean you should.

More isn’t always better, more doesn’t always solve problems.

It seems to blow our mind sometimes that a SMALL thing that we do can have a huge impact.

I have an analogy.

Say we have a room full of people. Now to keep this room clean, we need to sweep it. We make one person the cleaner and everyone else…just does their own things. However, every person in the room generates some trash/dust. So if this room has 100 people, then this ONE person will have to clean 100 people’s worth of trash..

Hm…that doesn’t seem doable and it isn’t, so the room becomes dirty.

Thing is, this problem isn’t solved by turning all 100 people into cleaners. Have you seen 100 people trying to clean ONE room? It’s like twitch plays pokemon. It’s actually less efficient.

Perhaps 5 is the optimum number?

I don’t know, I don’t actually have 100 people in a room, I haven’t experimented, I have no fucking clue what’s the optimum number.

But I do know that more is’t always better.

Now, but what about the rest of the non-cleaners, if becoming cleaners themselves don’t help, what CAN they do? Well they can each generate less trash. Perhaps if 100 people generated less trash, then we would only need 3 cleaners.

So see, we don’t need the WHOLE world to become a charity. We don’t need everyone becoming volunteers. Because the math is too complicated, we will probably never know what is the optimum number of people who should become volunteers in NGOs to help fix the world, but I’m sure the number is significantly less than 7 billion.

We keep wanting ideas to be scalable, to involve every god damn person at their maximum capacity. I don’t think that’s how it should be.

It’s same with companies and services and just about anything in life. There’s an optimum size for everything.

Bigger isn’t always better.



Less isn’t more, but more isn’t always more

The land of contradictions, Japan

A few things led to this post, so I guess I’ll start with them first.

A couple days back I was watching reaction videos on Youtube, namely, Koreans and Japanese people react to Anaconda (they were two separate videos).

As you may or may not know, Japanese and Korean are extremely similar languages, and culturally they aren’t THAT different. But there is surprising cultural or perhaps social gap between them? And I don’t mean one caused by war.

See, I’ve always though that Koreans were more open that Japanese people, and in way they are? I mean Koreans are louder, less reserved with their emotions than Japanese people.

But ironically, socially speaking, Korea is actually less accepting than Japan and I never noticed how much until I watched the reaction video.

Japanese girls were admiring Nicki Minaj in the video, citing her to be sexy, confident, cool. The reaction of Koreans, male and female, were the exact opposite, ranging from shock to horror and disgust. And then I actually thought about it…Japan has had WAYY more extreme and provocative music videos in their industry than Anaconda. I mean, sure no one else wore a thong and shook their ass on screen but…freaky entrails, blood, weird montages of …just I don’t even know what is actually pretty common.

I’d go into how socially accepted homosexuals are in both countries but then I’d be straying, so lets go back to the other thing that led to this post.

Anime. I was literally JUST watching anime and there yes another male character who identifies as female. It’s so common in anime that I don’t even bat an eyelash when I see it. Like it’s just a Japanese anime thing. Transgender people, cross-dressers, gays, guys who identify as female…every anime seems to have one. And these aren’t like animes aimed at adults mind you, these are animes like One Piece, Phi Brain. Of course these type of characters are perhaps more pronounced and fleshed out in seinen anime, or anime aimed at an older audience, but it doesn’t change the fact that they’re common.

Hell, incest is so common in anime that as someone whose been watching them since she was 3, I actually find it weird when my friends make a fuss about incest in anime. It’s anime logic *shrugs*. Then there’s Yaoi..and Yuri, which are actual GENRES by themselves…and then I remember the giant billboard of like a yaoi comic in ikebukuro…and I realize, yes, Japan is reserved and conservative, but it also very very accepting.

I suppose the word accepting may not be the best word, perhaps ‘indifferent’ is a better word?

Yes gay marriage is illegal in Japan, but gay couples are not rare in Japanese cinema, unlike in the media of other Asian countries. Sure, Japanese society has a clear hierarchy and system but no one bats an eyelash if some cosplaying kid walks down the street.

I’m not saying that Japan isn’t conservative, feminism is still a struggling movement there, but holy crap, look past the surface and Japan is home to so many really extreme and weird communities/things/people/subjects that despite how conservative it is, people really generally quite happy to let some pretty funky shit be.

After coming to this realization, I actually find it rather ironic that Japanese people would find some of what westerners do culturally outrageous. It’s like, yea someone married a character in their favourite dating game, that’s totally normal, but oh my god PDA is so outrageous.

I mean when you think about it, Japan is land so full of contradictions, sometimes it just makes you want to throw your hands up and go ‘Wha!?’

The land of contradictions, Japan

Re-learning art again

I was watching one of Disney’s old cartoons, you know the ones with whimsical art and classical music?

And it hit me that art isn’t really THAT hard to understand, or at least, not as much as I’ve made it out to be in my head.

Watching the cartoon, I can see how that with enough patience and dedication, I too am capable of making art.

Which made me think, when did I start finding art so difficult?

I consider myself as someone with pretty decent (read: awesome) self-awareness. Hence I am well aware that there are some things my brain is hardwired to resist against, such as math, programming and recently, art.

When I see the above mentioned things, my eyes gloss over, my brain switches off and I immediately find then difficult and impossible to grasp. But alas, my wonderful self-awareness KNOWS that it’s not because those subjects really are that hard, my brain is just resisting.

Funny thing is, when I was much younger, there weren’t these resistances. Of course there were things I found difficult, but when I did find them, I just sat down and worked through it. So what happened?

You know how people say that the brain is a muscle?

Somewhere along the line, society and education have trained the muscles of my brain to find certain exercises easy and others hard. But when I was a kid my muscles were flexible, pliable. They didn’t try to think how uncomfortable certain exercises would make it, they just went ahead and did it.

Except now I’m older, my muscles, both physical and mental, are a little stiffer, they’ve got bad habits and imbalances now

But it doesn’t change the fact that with enough practice and stretching, they’ll be able to contort into new positions.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we need to stop throwing up walls and instead let our brains feel the burn of these mental stretches when it comes to subjects and issues that we are ‘bad’ at. We’re not bad at it, we just haven’t done enough of it.

So I’m just going to ahead and re-learn art and maybe math while I’m at it, I can feel my brain resisting it already, but I do yoga 3 times week, what’s a bit more pain?

Re-learning art again

Good enough

What is good enough?

I find my biggest struggle in life these days to be wondering if I’m good enough or qualified enough.

When I was younger, I often thought that certificates and degrees will make me feel qualified enough. But truth is, they don’t.

As a Jack of all trades (and by that I mean really almost all trades, from cooking to proposal writing), I find that there are tons of jobs out there that I COULD do but I never know if I’m qualified enough for it. Because there’s always going to be someone more skilled than you.

Of course, the only reason why non-specialized people even have work is because clients want to balance cost and skill. The more professional someone is, the more expensive they’d be.

Still, unlike in games, where there’s a specification saying : ‘STR must be at least 30 to take this quest’, in the real world there isn’t a line for you to check if you’re qualified enough.

Experience is one thing, but an amateur photographer with 20 gigs under their belt may still not be professional enough. at the end of the day, a lot of it is talent and perseverance.

So I say again, what is good enough?

Good enough