Mini-rant

Maybe it’s because I naturally gather information and analyze situations, so to me, excessive discussions, complains etc. all seem fucking pointless. 

I know that some people just need to rant to make themselves feel better (case in point what I’m doing now), I also know that some people need others to lay out the facts and analyze all points of view for them. But there really just comes this point whereby you’ve analyzed all there is to analyze, debated about ALL perspective and aspects, bitched to the point whereby you stop feeling better and people should just take action. 

Like for fuck’s sake. Just shut up and do it. 

The conclusion will always be ‘it depends’. There will never be 100% certainty, a perfect answer or the absolute truth. 

So rather than wasting time trying only to come to the conclusion that you already know, which is ‘there is no answer’, how about lets just come up with solutions, pick one and DO IT. 

UGH!!! I CAN’T STAND THIS ANYMORE. 

THIS IS WHY ACADEMICS ARE ANNOYING. 

They are necessary, I admit, but still. 

YOU SIT IN YOUR FUCKING CHAIR, DO YOUR RESEARCH, CREATE YOUR DISCOURSE AND THEN…continue sitting in your chair. 

I am a Virgo and we are the epitome of planning and research but even I am going crazy, like you can talk about this till kingdom come, IT WILL NEVER END. NOW CAN WE MOVE ON AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!? ANYTHING. 

Obviously ice-cream didn’t help. I’m just gonna go do something and work off the frustration. ->see, solution and action. 

一時四分

今日はまた眠れなかった。

って言うか眠いけど眠れない。

なんか泣きたい気分。

でも泣くことすらできない。

だって泣く必要ないだし。

じゃ、なぜ気持ちがこんなにも暗いだろう。

恐らく、負の感情がたまり過ぎって、身も心も耐えられない。

現実は何もないのに。

全てはあるべきどりに。

けど自分の世界はめちゃくちゃだ。

何もかも重過ぎって。

実は眠いんだ、寝たいんだ。

日常は辛い、何もないのに。

疲れった、泣きたい、眠れない。。。

何度も使った言葉,厭きる程。

も、理由になれないんだ。

休みもとった、問題も解決出来た。

少しずつ、落ち込んいる。

少しずつ、厭きている。

怒りたい、叫びたい。。。結局泣きたいだけだ。

自分が憐れだっと感じたいだけだ。

寝るべきだ

理由もない憂鬱

Cajon drabbels

I just took a quick peek at myself in the mirror and scared the shit out of myself. 

Apparently lack of food and sleep can drain all the color off your face, I haven’t seen my lips that pale since I had serious food poisoning. 

So taking a break from work, I’ve decided to muse why it’s awesome to own a cajo, and why you should buy one even if you don’t play.

  1. It’s like a drum set, except it’s a box. Have you any idea how much space that saves?
  2. It’s a chair, a good sturdy one. You can bring it with you, it’s light, you can move it anywhere in the house to sit on it. Total lifesaver when you have too many guests. Also it takes up so much less space than an actual chair. 
  3. Fits into a corner neatly. I’m OCD, this is important. Cajons are are rectangular box, that makes keeping them neatly a breeze. 
  4. It’s a table. It can double as your night stand (very well at that). More importantly, when your actual table has run out of space, you can leave stuff on it. If for some reason you’re sitting on the floor, it can double as your computer table, snacking table (it’s the perfect size for a bowl of chips). 
  5. It’s portable, you can bring your cajon with you to carry out any of the above functions anywhere, anytime! It’s as heavy as a 15inch laptop (macbook). 
  6. You can jam with it. 
  7. Should you ever need to annoy anyone with loud banging noises, you’re covered. 
  8. It intrigues cats. No really, they stare at it, wondering why this wooden box creates such strange noises and then attempts to crawl inside it only to find the hole is too small. This in turn amuses you. Cajons are amusing.
  9. It’s great exercise. Ever tried playing punk rock beats on a cajon? That’s a work out.

That’s all the crap my brain can generate today. Off to eat food and sleep.

Chocomon out.  

Life is like an RPG game

Right on, blogging in class, you go Chocomon!

So today we’re talking about how life is exactly like an RPG game.

CVs and resumes, everybody has one, it’s crucial in helping you get jobs.

So here’s the game of life.

Key stages in your career are the boss fights, daily grind is exactly that, grinding.

Your Resume and CV and skills are your armour and skills.

So coming out of high school into college, your CV is probably as padded as it can be at that stage (for that map/region).

Then you realize, after finishing college, you are finally elevated to a new map!

Of course as with all new maps there’s that new quest/cave with the new boss.

You take out your maxed out equipment (CV) and realize..it doesn’t really count for much.

So it’s back to using your smarts and guts!

Somehow you magically beat the boss with sheer ingenuity.

YOU GOT A NEW PIECE OF EQUIPMENT.

In real life of course, it is, with sheer dumb luck or an outstanding cover letter, you got a new job, that’s a new mark on your CV (which now is a blank slate, don’t lie, we all sell our useless armour for more money!)….as part of the daily grind you learn new skills, take on new projects..

AND you realize one day you have a new CV!

And it’s time for you to challenge higher positions in your career.

You get the procedure.

So yea, life IS like an RPG game.

Game seriously, live seriously.

*Note: Serious as in remember to have fun and enjoy and be humorous.

Reflections of a habit

I have the habit of reading trashy shoujo mangas when I’m emo.

Mainly because the trivial woes of the female lead distract me from my disorganized mental state (yes I’m just going to come out and admit that I’m a control freak, and that is the root of all my unhappiness;  I’ll work on it, for now..trudging along).

I quite like the art of this artist whose work I’m drowning myself in and after reading a ton of trashy shoujo manga this is the summary that my brain has produced:

  1. People fall in love WAY too quickly (love at first sight doesn’t even cover it)
  2. No wonder so many Japanese girls are hopeless at real relationships, and guys too; if this is your reference material, dear god.
  3. Love triangles are wayy overused.

Particularly for the latter, whenever I read “You can’t love two people equally”, I’m just like….I’m pretty damn sure you can. Honestly, if there were 2 hot guys chasing after the same girl, polygamy should be made legal. I mean, 21st century, female rights and all that shit. Also it’s even worse an a love triangle breaks up friendship of 3 childhood friends, like seriously, you guys are in high school, you’ll all find some replaceable male/female SO later on in life. You can’t replace your childhood best friends!

But that’s just me.

And that’s why I’m a mystical unicorn.

Chocomon out.

Happiness and perceived control

They say that your happiness is derived from the perceived control you have over your life.

Truer words were never said.

I feel like my life is a mess and I have no control.

Explains the creeping depressing state.

Honestly, it’s just bad time management on my part…okay actually it’s just a vicious cycle.

And my body has decided to inform me that I’m stressed.

So…if we had to start somewhere, the cycle starts with fitful sleep…

I get woken up by sudden texts (i really need to completely mute my phone before I sleep!) when I’m already sleeping late and sleeping poorly.

So cause I don’t wake up refreshed I don;t follow through my daily plans…

Things don’t get done

The inner virgo feels a lack of control.

Bamf, emoness.

And due to emoness, sleep comes even later…you get my drift.

I’m just gonna try and hammer myself down and finish all the work that’s piled up…

It’s all happy work…but my motivation *sigh*

WHY AM I STRESSED!!

And burnt out.

Where is the happiness…

Evidently I must be not doing something in my life..

Okay work first, psychoanalyze later.

T.T

Human Stories

Let’s face it, while it’s incredibly unhealthy for us to think of ourselves (humans) as the centre of the world, the human society is obviously rooted in the people who live in it.

In a generation where we have to justify everything we do (although at the same time, the reverse is true; I swear there hasn’t been a more contradictory era than this one), I find myself having to explain to people why travelling and meeting new people is important.

It’s no secret that I want to be a theme park designer, and guess who visits theme parks?

People.

So to me, meeting new people on travels, in different countries, taking them on tours allows me to understand what sort of experiences people enjoy; what activities/stories/experiences are universal whilst others need to be contextualized and how to contextualize them.

People often undermine the amount of thought process behind media and arts because it’s not part of the direct machine that keeps the society ticking. But so long as humans are the ones living and running cities, understanding humans on an emotional and experiential level is just as important as understanding the theories and systems they have invented.

It’s rather annoying when people get into the argument of the feasibility and expediency of emotional VS physical aspects of life when really these two were never on opposite sides. You can’t live on only one side of your brain, artists and scientists need to co-exist, rationality and emotions need to co-exist.

And let’s just end this post before it goes off topic and evolves into a rant about annoying people.

Chocomon, fresh out.