When people ask me what do I want to be, I have two answers.
The simple and direct one is, I want to be a theme park designer, or more specifically, the creative director of a theme park.
The bastardly answer is, I want to be me.
Look, like maybe 40 + years down the road, when I’m done being a creative director, I may wanna be something else.
That doesn’t change who I am.
So it’s not, what I want to be (I want to be a tea cup! No, I don’t, please don’t make me a tea cup), but who I want to be.
And I always want to be me.
Being yourself is very important, being someone else just won’t do.
Yes, I probably sound a little crazy, or senile, or both, right now, because it’s 2am, I should be sleeping cause I need to be up in less than 7 hours.
But then I can’t keep procrastinating this little life planning reflection session and I’m not sleepy anyways, so maybe some lengthy typing will put me to sleep. (It’s already starting to work.)
I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but then I’m always surrounded by people who make me feel inadequate.
Half the time, I’m always wondering: Why is everyone else having such an exciting life!?
It’s hard when people around me a living a jet-setting lifestyle, whether they like it or not.
I mean, I randomly go to gym, and the poof this mother of two is a food stylist, professional chef and caterer who speaks 5 languages, lived in 5 countries and is studying for a business exam.
Or like, I go for Adobe Illustrator Class, and this lady next to me, who is now into designing fabrics is like ethnically Indian but grew up in London, lived in the states and used to be a feminist journalist.
Oh, lets not forget my very close friend who has been studying abroad alone since he was 9 (I don’t particularly envy that of course), and has lived in Tokyo, New York, London and is now in Germany.
Doesn’t this just make you wonder, what the hell are you doing with your life!?
Well, I just spent the past 3 hours of mine playing Dragon Nest.
And no I’m not about to cut gaming out of my life because it makes me look woefully un-awesome in comparison to all these jet-setting people. That’s blasphemy.
Yea, FYI, this post isn’t going to make much sense to anyone besides me because my train of thought it more like two trains and a bouncing rabbit all travelling at the same time. Pardon me for that.
I guess the purpose of this post is mainly to try and reflect on whether or not I’m closer to how I want to be at this stage of my life?
Yea that sounds about right.
Actually, aside from my irrational, omg there is a design conference in New York, there’s TED conference in Kyoto and Taipei, DAMN IT THERE’S DISNEY PROFESSIONAL INTERNSHIPS AND I CAN’T APPLY and a shit ton of other stuff which requires me to have large amounts of time and money (both of which I lack) to attend, I’m quite satisfied with myself right now.
My long time childhood dream of being a mascot has finally been realized. And yes, I think I make an awesome Panda. I mean, sure Panda-ing doesn’t seem like much compared to, oh I don’t now, working for GIC or some hedge fund company, but then I know that even just 5 years down the road, I’d see this as an amazing experience and memory, most importantly, I can die without regrets. Plus imagine what an awesome conversation at reunions it’d be. “So what did you do?” “Oh, I was a Panda.” Not many people get to be mascots, play with kids, die of heat and be narcissistic of their panda self and still be considered cute (I swear, mascots get away with everything) and seeing as in the world of theme parks, there will be so many other actors playing as mascots…I think it’s good to have this experience…Oh who the fuck am I kidding. I just love being a cute oversized Panda, is it such a crime. It’s fun, it’s awesome, and I have a super soft belly, so sue me.
You know, people say if you work hard enough at something, you get somewhere with it, I finally feel that way. Now, this probably still isn’t enough to offset that occasional bout of jealousy and inadequacy I get when I see my NYU friends who are all living it up. But then I’ve gone from journalist to assistant producer to program consultant to community planner (which basically is like this person who gets to plan events, operations and structure of a community), which is really in line with my life dream/goal of helping people create inspiring and happy memories. Sure themed entertainment is my ultimate destination but then, for now I think this will be, actually, this IS an invaluable experience, inspiring people to come together to make a change and have fun while they do it. I’m already salivating at the possibilities of all the sorts of experiences I can create, it’s going to be so fun …and great training for themed entertainment planning. After all, what are you planning if not an experience?
Hell, even health wise (both mental and physical), I’m happy with where I am now. I routinely go to Ritual twice a week, finally settled on a Yoga class which I’m going to start. I find time to de-stress with exercising, gaming, blogging and even visiting random cafes and food places. I’m always intellectually challenged and enriched thanks to the combined efforts of monocle and feedly…I even eat pretty healthy. I’m getting my spine sorted, taking all my supplements…you know, really making an effort to be healthy!
The only things I need to work on, starting from health wise is: sleeping early (feeling extra guilty right now), be on the computer less (even more guilty) and be more consistent with my stretching. Moving on to life wise…well, I guess what I need to work on is making more time for stuff. Which I’m already making some headway. I’ve already planned out 2014, all my holidays and the trips I’ll be going on (my cabin fever is thanking me) that’ll finally cure me of my “why is everyone living exciting enriched lives!”, like the working holiday in Kyoto, potential Italy business trip (to film a tourism program on Italy!!!!!), Taiwan enriching trip (to meet an inspiring social entrepreneur and attend some cool classes at this…self-enriching institute), attending SAT 2014…>-< Thinking about it makes me happy. Of course that’s not including the potential vacations I’ll be taking with the resident polar bear, totally looking forward to those too!
Now speaking of foreign countries, one thing I really really need to make time and effort for is learning Korean and Spanish. Spanish because, damn it I want to travel to Europe and not feel like an idiot half the time and I owe it to my latin music loving self to learn this language. Korea because, I already know Japanese, might as well complete the set. I’ve already signed up for Spanish classes starting december, my only goal is to become conversational, same with Korean. Because, well, I’m a realistic (read, LAZY) person and well…no need to be all professional level with these languages. Who has time for it! My only problem is Korean really, I don’t feel like spending money on classes because the learning curve for me is different for other learners (unless they’re Japanese), which leaves self-study…and well…I don’t like self-studying a a language. So I’m still working on that.
Hey…at least if my plans work out, in about 3 years I’d be…quintilingual? That’s pretty good ^_^
And I mean…I’ll cut myself some slack.
I’m schooling AND working and I still find time for gaming and anime.
To a more eventful, enriching and (hopefully) more sustainable 2014!!
Some minor reminders to myself, I should probably get cracking on picking up a few more software skills, just because they’re handy. At least those don’t take a shit load of time.
And now…after all he invigorating and motivation.
December, the month of celebrating, slacking and fun.
*Goes back to sedentary mode*
Nah, I’m just trying to slack as much as I can now because I have like two weeks of shoots, a major event, two forums/conference coming up.
And yes, this reminds me.
I feel horrible that my time gets filled up by stuff, some I can’t help because it’s work, and some I can help but I’m selfish because…well…a lot of these events are once in a life time opportunities and the people around me aren’t interested? *sigh* I really don’t mean to not have time to spend with people around me….I think I make a horrible friend and girlfriend in terms of the time department, because there’s always so much going on in my life that by the time I get some free time, I either want to rest or be alone, or both, and or it’s just too late at night to do anything with anyone. Then it makes me feel sad that why is it that so much of the stuff going on in my life can’t be done with people I wanna spend time with? Okay..if this topic continues I’m just going to become a ball of misery so…I’ll just stop.
Okay, drop some text messages and it’s TIME FOR BED!!
Damn I should have gone to gym today.