I woke up on a not very bright and sunny morning (but still a good morning) and decided to read this.
No there will be no hate rant of any sort.
I just wanted to add my own two cents.
Women need to stop living in fear of misogynists.
I haven’t been a target of sexual discrimination much in my rather short life, for several reasons.
I am lucky enough to be born in a country with relative gender equality, I’m not easily sexualized due to androgynous features and I’ve grown up being ‘one of them guys’.
The few times I was subjected to discrimination, people either stood up for me or I’ve learnt to power through it.
Because the thing about men, especially the misogynistic ones, is that they shut up in the face of power.
I’m not saying that we shouldn’t take these threats seriously, but you know what these threats really are?
Fear of men from losing their current status, because these specific men know that if they lost their natural gender superiority, in a game of sheer capabilities, they’re going to lose to women.
So they fear.
Anyone who disagrees with this, feel free to disagree; but anyone, especially any males (or any other gender you may be) reading this who has confidence in themselves will know that this is true.
I mean, come on, if you’re so great, what have you got to fear about women being of equal status as you?
Fear of disrespect is fear too, because that means without social construct, you’re not a person who can be respected. Woe is you then.
Back to the topic at hand, so men fear.
Like animals backed into a corner, they lash out, they lashed out especially hard on Emma Watson because this time she isn’t just rallying other women, she’s rallying the men too. And misogynists know that there are more sensible men out there in this world than they think.
The only weapon they have to prevent the men from standing on the side of equality is to make use of ingrained gender bias, sexual bias, that women must be pure and upright to be protected and supported, to destroy the campaign.
This might seem grim, but if you take just a few more steps back, look at how desperate these people. Such fear. This lashing out actually means we’re at the tipping point of taking the next big step in gender equality, it’s kind of like the homophobes last hurrah before homosexuality became widely accepted.
If I was talking solutions, I’d say, men with sense, please step up and shut your fellow species up before they ruin the reputation of your gender beyond repair. Because part of why feminism has such bad reputation is because sensible men keep quiet, and because supporters of feminism are dealing with ignorant fools, they’re forced to use force, and therefore feminism comes off as a hate campaign. Lets face it, it’s hard to deal with ignorant fools who refuse to listen. Sometimes, yes anger and hate is the only response. Lest you let someone else walk all over you.
That is kind of where I’m going with this though.
Part of me feels like women themselves needs to stop feeling ashamed by attacks of men to humiliate them. I know it’s hard, downright impossible in the face of things like rape. But honestly, just for me personally? I’m not going to respect Emma Watson any less no matter what photos they post of her, unless it’s of her killing someone or kicking a puppy, that sort of fundamentally morally wrong things. We are all human, who doesn’t have a sex drive or a naked body? None of that makes us less human or less respectable.
Sometimes I feel like we’re past de-sexualizing society. We need to normalize sexualizing, all genders at that.
I feel like if a woman can go against the conventions of ‘pure’ and ‘ladylike’ and prove that despite being a ‘slut’ is still a respectable person, soon that convention will go down, and all these misogynistic attacks will lose power.
I mean alternatively, hackers of the equality camp can go release nude photos of misogynists, I’m sure they’ve got MANY skeletons in their closet. But…in the long run I doubt that resolves anything (but hey all is fair in love and war, and this is war).
So why do I say violence is sometimes an answer?
Respect is earned, I firmly believe in that.
In an ideal world, men will know not to prey on women’s biological weaknesses to ‘put them in their place’, in an ideal world men won’t want to put women in their place because they’re right where they should be. But we don’t live in an ideal world, and sometimes to push the world in that direction, we need to stop expecting the world to behave like its ideal and start working with its flaws.
Aside from normalizing and accepting the sexualization of women and learning to respect them as human beings BEYOND objectification, women, sadly, need to learn to shut men up, the hard way.
There is this thing called grudging respect, which is something I get from guys a lot. It’s funny, many men, in an effort to cope, ceases to categorize women as women the moment they prove themselves to be equally capable if not more capable. I’m sorry, if being desexualized and de-‘women-fied’ by some population of men is part of the process, girls, we’re just going have to live with it.
So grudging respect is when you prove to them that despite their biased thoughts about you that you are good if not better. And very importantly, is to not be ashamed when you’re accused of using your womanly ways to get to where you are. For fuck’s sake, you are female, it is your damn right to use your natural advantage. Men have been using their natural advantage for years now, and we don’t humiliate them for using it (maybe we should, just for kicks you know?). Because if you can produce results, it doesn’t really matter how you do it does it? I mean, I’m not comfortable with people who have slept their way to the top more for moral reasons, but at the same time, you have to give that person respect. They made it, we did not. Anything against it is just jealousy.
To that end, in order for women to stop living in fear of men attacking them, as sad as it is, I believe women need to learn to fight, and fight good. Of course the opposing party can cheat using drugs and traps, but if the message goes out that women can’t be taken down easily, you’ll be surprised how many guys are cowed and put off. Sure they’ll say scathing things like how you’re not a woman anymore etc. But words can’t take your femininity away from you, only you can. Heck, so many transgender people mourn over the femininity of their female body parts, quit letting words from the losing party affect you already.
Basically if women demonstrated that they’re not easily messed with, there’ll be more grudging respect all around, and men who have had their heads screwed on right all along…will continue having their heads screwed on right. The staunch extremists sadly will never go away, but when they’re a minority, it’s easy to get the crowd to drown them out.
Women, unfortunately, need to have men stop coming to their protection. Men should support the feminist movement because not doing so brings shame to their gender, shows that they’re insecure, narrow-minded cowards; not because women need men’s help. This doesn’t mean that support of both genders isn’t important towards gender equality, it IS. But support it for the right reasons.
And those who STILL refuse to listen to reason, well those times, violence is an answer.